Putting on a brave face was something I was good at. I did it after Mum died, after we moved away, through months of gruelling hospital visits and bad news, I never let anyone see my pain or sadness. I pushed it down, and I got on with the one thing I needed to do; survive. So tonight, I’d do the same. Smile, dance, celebrate my friend, and support Helen. What came later, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over, but I could get through the next few hours and enjoy Helen while I still had her.
“Hey, you.” I placed my hand on Helen’s lower back while she chatted with a group of people I didn’t know.
The party was in full swing because I was late. After Helen left, I made a decision, and it took me a while to finalise the arrangements and be able to hide the guilt from my face so she wouldn’t see it the second she looked at me.
Helen spun around, giving me that smile that made my heart hammer and my resolve almost melted, but I knew this was my only option. “Hi. I was getting worried about you.”
“Sorry. An old friend called just as I was leaving,” I lied.
“Oh?” She looked like she didn’t believe me and in that moment, I hated how well we could read each other. “Well, you’re here now. Why don’t you go get a drink?”
“You want one?”
She held up her full glass. “All good.”
The function room in the venue we’d taken over was packed, and I weaved my way to the bar, finding Jasper standing there nursing an empty glass.
“Jax,” he yelled over the music, sounding a little drunk.
“Jasper. Enjoying your party?”
He looked around the room with a giant grin on his face. “Not a bad turnout. Maybe I should stay, eh?”
He ordered a whisky when the barman came over and I got a beer. “You having second thoughts?” I asked when we were alone again.
He twisted his lips before he spoke. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s such a long way away.”
“But it’s fucking Ecuador, Jasper. What an opportunity.”
“Yeah, I guess. Would you go, if it were you?”
I shook my head as I took the bottle of beer from the server and gulped down a mouthful. “Na. I’ve never dreamed of travelling, only of coming home.”
“Why didn’t you come back sooner?”
That was a good question. “I could have, but the time never felt right. It wasn’t until this job came up that I knew.”
“And now you’re back, you’re happy? With work… who am I kidding? Are you happy with my mum?”
“I love her.”
Jasper turned so quickly that he sloshed his whisky over the side of his glass. “You’re being serious.”
I nodded.
“Have you told her?”
I put my drink down. “No, there’s some stuff I need to explain to her, but I don’t think she’s going to like it and I don’t want to guilt her into staying with me by saying those words to her before she has a chance to learn why I left all those years ago.”
He frowned, but before we could say another word, Callum arrived next to us, while Conner—still refusing to speak to me or his mum—glared at me from the other end of the bar. Jasper nodded, telling me that he understood that this conversation was over.
“Where’s your dad?” I asked Callum, who was typing away furiously on his phone.
“Said he couldn’t come.”
“Oh?” I replied, surprised, because Gary had always been around for his boys—something I longed for from my own dad.
“Honestly, he’s not been the same since the divorce. While Mum has grown this whole new level of confidence, Dad, well, appears to have washed his hands of us. It feels like he’s done his time parenting and he can’t be bothered anymore. He told Jasper he’d see him before he left, but that he didn’t think he’d cut it out there for five years… in fact, he said he’d be back before the year’s out.”
