Me: No. I’m going to head home and wash this makeup off. I just wish I’d not wasted this outfit and underwear on him. Although, I do love the new hair, so it wasn’t all a waste.
Vee: None of this is a waste. There is someone out there right now who will treat you like a queen.
Me: Maybe, but no more dating apps. I want the fairy tale.
Becks: Don’t we all!
Me: You’re happily married.
Becks: A girl can dream… or enjoy a bit of role play with her husband *winking face emoji*
Lizzy: Gross! I’ll never be able to look at Dave in the same way again. *vomiting face emoji*
Lizzy: Back to Helen. What are you going to do?
Me: Go home. Delete the app. Eat too much ice cream and binge a boxset. Preferably where the man is murdered painfully for ghosting his date.
Vee: Text us when you’re home. I mean, he might be the serial killer, waiting for you to leave the restaurant alone.
Lizzy: WTF V!!!!
Becks: *faceplant emoji*
I laughed louder than I should, drawing the attention of the couples and groups sitting at the tables near me.
I worked for one of the most paranoid men in the world, so when I told him I was going on my first date tonight and didn’t have enough details about him for Thomas to run a background check, he insisted I brought some ‘protection’. Which was why Tyler, my own personal bodyguard, was waiting outside to make sure I got home safely.
Vee: Sorry!!!!! I need to think before I speak… or text! In other news, have you tried our vibrating gifts yet?
I signalled to the waiter, asking for the bill before I typed my reply.
Me: Erm, nope. They are all scary-looking. Don’t they come in smaller sizes?
Lizzy: You don’t have to put them inside you. You can just start with them on your clit.
Me: No. Stop right there. Too much.
Becks: Watch some porn and just have some fun with them.
Me: OMG. I’d rather talk about people waiting to kill me than this. I hate you all.
Lizzy: You’ll thank us for it when you make yourself come.
Me: Oh look, a hole I can climb into. Thanks, ladies, at least I feel less embarrassed about being stood up and ghosted. Best friends EVER.
Lizzy: Glad we could help. *winking face emoji*. Seriously, call us when you’re home.
I put my phone down just as the waiter appeared with another glass of wine. I looked up, my brows furrowing in confusion.
“You can’t just leave without eating, Helen. Thomas would never forgive us.”
I sighed because this was one of the joys of small town living that I could do without sometimes. Everyone knew everyone’s business and everyone knew my boss, Thomas Lanton.
“Honestly, I’m good. I’m just ready to go home.”
The waiter smiled, and I wished I could remember the poor boy’s name. “Chef said to order whatever you want. On the house. You can get it to go if that’s easier. But you need to eat, right?”
Tilting my head, my lips curved into a small smile. “Tell the chef thank you. Can I get the pesto chicken pizza and whatever dessert he’d recommend? And, please bring me the bill. I want to pay for dinner.”
