He started slowly, as if he was giving me a moment to get used to the idea of us, but then he cupped my cheek and his tongue pressed against the seam of my lips. I let him in eagerly, wanting to taste more, as my hands moved to his back, feeling his tight, masculine form beneath my fingertips.
We were still sitting next to each other, twisted together awkwardly, but I didn’t care. His mouth was perfection. Gary had been the only man I’d ever kissed and I couldn’t rememberthe last time he’d given me anything more than a peck on the cheek, but Jax; he consumed me.
He buried his hand in my hair, applying a pressure that made me moan as his other hand tightened around my waist and pulled me, so I straddled his wetsuit-clad lap.
Time lost all meaning as we kissed, his tongue dancing with mine until I couldn’t work out where I ended and he began. Even when he pulled away, both of us desperate for breath, he continued his kisses along my jaw and down the column of my neck.
“Fuck, Helen. I have thought about this so much. Kissing you, touching you. It’s even better than I imagined. I can’t believe you want this too. Want me.”
He didn’t let me answer, pulling me tighter and crashing our lips together again, our chests heaving in time as we made out like teenagers. His soft lips contrasted with his short beard that scratched me in a way that made me feel owned; marking my skin so the world knew I was his.
I didn’t realise our hips were rocking together until heat pooled in my lower stomach, making my nipples ache and my back arch. “Jax…” I could barely speak, mumbling against his lips.
He looked at me; dark eyes filled with desire. Then they darted around us, as if he realised where we were and what we were doing. “Sorry, that got heated quickly. You want to slow down?”
“We’re on a beach, so we probably should,” I whispered as I skimmed my fingers down his hard body, not believing any of this was real.
“I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he replied, pressing a chaste kiss to my swollen lips.
Feeling brave, I rocked my hips, edging against the solid outline of his cock beneath me. Jax groaned. “Yeah, not helping, beautiful. Having an erection in a wetsuit can’t be good for me.You wanna come and cool off with me in the sea? You can teach me how to stand on that stupid paddleboard.”
Jax
Kissing Helen was like something out of the movies where an orchestra starts playing and the sun parts the clouds while angels sing. I wanted to do it all day, every day for the rest of time, but she was right—no matter how secluded we were, we were still on a public beach and I didn’t want anyone else seeing what we were up to.
We spent the rest of the day messing about in the water. We didn’t kiss again, but our touches increased, lingering longer as if neither of us could bear to be too far away from the other.
As the sun set and the temperature dropped, we thanked Tor for arranging our date, promising to come back soon before we climbed into the car.
She gave me that smile that turned me to a puddle. “I had the best time. Thank you for going to all this trouble for me.”
I took her hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. “You’re worth all the good things, beautiful.”
The drive home was quiet, both of us exhausted from our day in the sun, but the further we travelled the more I worried that Helen was sitting there, overthinking all the reasons us beingtogether wasn’t a good idea. When we pulled up to the house and I switched off the engine, she proved that I really could read her pretty well.
“Jax, I’ve been thinking.” She paused, staring out of the front window rather than looking at me. “We can’t do this.”
I unfastened my seatbelt, and she did the same. “Shall we go inside before we have this conversation?” I reached for her hand, but she pulled it back before I could touch her.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t—”
“Helen, let’s go inside.”
She moved without saying another word, heading to the house to unlock the front door while I got the bags from the boot.
I took my time, weighing up if this was the best idea, even though I already knew the answer. She was older, and there were her kids to consider—I mean, I presumed Jasper would have something to say about the idea of us being together—but other than that, nothing stood in our way and I wasn’t letting her talk herself out of it.
Inside, I found Helen pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the living room, filling the small, open plan space with the anxiety that bounced off her.
“Helen—”
She didn’t let me finish. “I’m too old for you. You should be with someone who will start a family with you and want to spend the rest of their life with you. You should be thinking about beginning your life, while I’m thinking about slowing down. And then there’s Jasper. He’s your oldest friend; you’re the same age as him. I can’t be with someone who's the same age as my son. What would people think? What would they say?”
I popped the bags down near the front door and locked it behind me. “You’re probably right.” I watched her eyes flicker with what looked like confusion. “I mean, it’s worth ignoring this connection between us because of our age difference.”
I moved until I was standing right in front of her, tucking her wild, wavy hair behind her ears, loving the freckles that had darkened across her sun-kissed skin. “I can pretend that seeing you doesn’t make me hard, and the thought of being with you doesn’t consume my thoughts every free minute I have.” I leaned in, making sure I kept some distance between our bodies, but bringing my mouth to Helen’s neck, sucking gently just below her ear until she groaned out my name.
“I can keep my hands off you because random strangers might not like what we’re doing behind closed doors.” I ran my tongue over the shell of her ear before biting gently on her lobe. She grabbed my hoodie, gripping tightly, as if she needed me closer.
