She hummed in reply as her fingers raked up the back of my neck, deepening our kiss as I carried her upstairs and into her…ourbedroom.
I hated putting her down and having to break our connection. I’d missed her so much that my body craved her touch, but I wanted her naked and under me, and for that I needed space to peel her out of her clothes.
Helen pulled off her hoodie, tossing it to the floor, before doing the same with her t-shirt. She glanced down at her shoes, before lifting her eyes to mine. “The shoes and the hoodie were the perfect addition.”
“And I promise to get you that crown.” I winked and Helen stepped out of her heels and then removed her jeans, leaving her there in just her white lace bra and panties.
I hissed out a breath. “I missed you so fucking much.”
She reached forward, unfastening my belt, before popping the button. The thought of being inside her made my cock throb angrily against my zipper, but as she reached to unfasten it, I froze, my hand wrapping around her wrist.
“Jax?”
I looked down at her hand. “Sorry. Force of habit.”
“Hey, look at me.” Her hands cupped my cheeks. “No more lies, remember?”
I was so used to protecting my secrets; controlling every minute of the sexual encounters I had, so the women I’d slept with didn’t find out… despite the therapy and how much it was helping, this would be the first time anyone had seen me, touched me, had sex with me knowing that I only had one testicle and couldn’t come.
“It feels like a lot,” I told Helen honestly.
“We can take it slowly if you want. I don’t want to push you.”
I chuckled, tucking Helen’s wavy hair behind her ear. “Oh, no beautiful, we are having sex tonight, multiple times, but the idea of you seeing…” I pointed to my crotch. “It’s one thing you knowing that I’m not… all there… it’s another to see it.”
“I love you. You don’t have to hide from me.”
“I know, but it’s hard to show you my fucked up body when you’re so perfect.”
Helen chuckled and then took my hands in hers. “I don’t think anyone sees themselves as perfect. I’m not trying to diminish what you’ve been through, but I’m sure most people have a part of us we hate or want to hide. You’ve made me feel so much more confident about my body. I want to do the same for you.”
I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until my chest began to burn and I let out a long sigh.
Helen reached behind her back and unclipped her bra, letting the straps fall from her shoulders as she took it off and then she rolled her panties down, leaving her standing in front of me, naked.
Unable to stay away, I palmed her breasts, burying my face in her neck as I breathed her in. I twisted her nipple, making her cry out my name, my cock twitching in reply from behind its denim confines.
“Can you touch me?” I mumbled, pressing kisses along her collarbone.
“Yes. Tell me if it gets too much and I will stop. I can’t hurt you, Jax.” I loved hearing my words to her echoed back.
Sliding my zipper down tooth by tooth, her eyes stayed fixed on mine while helped me step out of my jeans. Slipping her thumbs under the elastic of my underwear, she tugged them down too, freeing my cock so it slapped against my stomach.
Goosebumps exploded over my skin as she eased them over my sack, dropping to her knees so she could pull them past my thighs and down to the floor. She didn’t drop her gaze, her blue eyes locked onto mine.
I struggled to swallow as her fingers teased and traced the outline of my abs and the deep V in my hips. Her hands moved in tandem, stroking over my hips and ass until I had to close my eyes to try to control the aching throb of my cock. “Helen,” Imurmured because, as much as I wanted her hands on me, I was also terrified in equal measure.
“Trust me?” Her warm breath danced across my shaft, showing me how close she was to it.
“With my life,” I told her honestly, and that was all the permission she needed. She wrapped one hand around the base of my erection, cupping my sack with the other as she covered my head with her mouth, pushing her lips down fast.
The sensation consumed me and I came instantly, my body locked, my hands fisting at my side as a sob ripped from my chest and a tear rolled down my cheek.
Helen licked up my shaft, letting me slip gently from her lips, but her other hand stayed between my thighs, cupping me firmly. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.
I shook my head because I didn’t know how to feel. “Sorry, I came so fast. I’ve not touched myself since that night we were together. And you… doing that?”
Helen squeezed ever so slightly. “Does it hurt?” she asked.
