“Terminal illness is even more of an asshole than the universe, it seems,” Elias says softly.
“Yeah well, sometimes I think the universe is in on it,” I mutter spitefully.
“I’m not sure I believe even the universe has that much power,” he says. “Honestly, I think we have more power than it does.”
I narrow my eyes in his direction. I’m getting buzzed again, and while I’m not sure that’s a good thing right now, it is helping with the hangover. “How do you figure?”
“People get sick. Wives die. Husbands too. People steal, cheat, lie, people we trust, you know? Bad things happen that we have no control over.”
“Exactly. Fucking universe.”
“But…we have control over how we react,” he concludes.
“My wife was gone so suddenly, E. That’s not even enough time to plan an adequate funeral, let alone figure out how to raise my kids alone. I became a single father overnight.”
“And you’ve done a damn good job,” he says.
“I know that no woman is going to replace Allie. For me or the kids,” I say.
“And she shouldn’t have to,” he says.
“So where does Ben get off?” I snap.
Elias smiles patiently. “Ben is hurt.”
“Yeah, well, so am I.”
“I want you to think about it this way,” he says, and I hate that my younger brother is so often the voice of reason. It’s an annoying voice, probably because a lot of the time, it’s right. “Ben found out that his dad is banging his ex. Unimportant since he’s over her, but a shocker nonetheless. Then he has to admit to his fiancée that the wedding planner she hired, the one she loves and has done an exceptional job at fully planning a destination wedding without Holly lifting a finger…is also his ex. No offense, because I know your life is a little unhinged right now too, but that’s a lot.”
I bite my lip and toss back more beer. Because he’s not wrong. And it’s really fucking obnoxious.
“And now he might not be getting married at all,” I say.
“I wouldn’t throw it completely out the window,” Elias says.
“Easy for you to say. It’s not your life blowing up.”
He smiles at that. “No. But I know that our family has a way of bouncing back from things.”
“Have I, though?” I ask. “Bounced back, I mean. Allie’s death was a wrecking ball through the center of our house. She’s the main reason our kids turned out as good as they have.”
“From my recollection, you were a part of that too. A big part,” Elias says, finishing off his coffee.
“Not like her. I was young when they were born. What if I can’t hack it this time?” I ask. I feel like it’s a perfectly valid concern. But my brother just smiles.
“If you haven’t forgotten, I wasn’t a strapping young lad when my kids were born, and I just had another one,” he says. “I think you’ll be surprised.”
“That’s because Bethany is a stellar wife,” I say as a Hail Mary. “I don’t have Allie around to reassure me that I can do this…again.”
“Nope,” he says, hopping off his stool. “You have Charlotte. Just the other day you were telling me how amazing she is with kids.”
“I know, but,” I try to finish my thought, but my brother just claps a hand over my shoulder again.
“I think you need to talk to her,” he says.
“I will. When I’m ready.”
“Then, in the meantime, figure out what you’re actually afraid of,” he says, and then he walks away.
