“Maybe you have conflicting feelings about caring for a woman who isn’t Allie?” he asks carefully. Even when her name is said gingerly, it still stings.
“There will never be another Allie,” I say.
“Here’s the thing,” he says. “I believe that. Allie was one of a kind. For someone who found their partner young, you hit the nail on the head. You couldn’t have done better. But having feelings for another woman doesn’t mean you love Allie any less.”
“I get that,” I say. I’m holding my pool stick with one end on the floor, turning it in my hand as I think about all of it. “But I feel like moving on means leaving her behind.”
“You can’t leave a woman behind that is always in your heart,” he says. “You know as well as I do that there’s always room in your heart for more people. It’s like the way you feel about your kids. Having Ben didn’t change the way you felt about Madison,” he explains. I look over to my oldest child, Madison, who is laughing at the bar with one of Holly’s friends, as usual, lighting up the room.
“I guess that makes sense,” I say. “But it still feels very complicated.”
“Itiscomplicated,” he says with an easy laugh. “It’s love. It’s the most complicated thing on the planet. But it’s worth it. It’s worth chasing and going out on a limb for. It’s worth fighting for and defending if it comes down to it. If your heart is in it, that’s what matters the most.”
I think about her for a minute. The way she pushes her glasses up her nose, bites her lip, and the way her laughs sounds, not just a giggle but when she really lets it out. Her taste in musicand her views on things. She’s something else. A puzzle. Straight forward and mysterious all at the same time.
“You don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” Elias says.
“It’s hard,” I say. “And confusing. Because Charlotte is…bewitching. But Allie was my soulmate. There will never be anyone else like her.”
“That’s true,” Elias agrees. “But there will also never be anyone else like Charlotte either. And she’s the one standing in front of you.”
I nod and swallow, watching Charlotte across the room as she talks and laughs and sips what looks like a Dr. Pepper. I know deep down that my brother is right…about all of it.
Chapter 26
Charlotte
“I’m goingto admit something here,” I say to Josie as we stand at the end of the event hall. Everyone is sitting at the oak tables enjoying a brunch buffet. “I didn’t think Gavin was going to deliver when I said we needed a true, inner-city brunch for the first morning.”
“We have a waffle bar, eggs benedict, frittatas, and avocado toast,” she says. “I’d say he really delivered,” she adds, and I smile.
Yes, he did.
“So, how are things going?” she asks.
“Well, so far, I think it’s been smooth. Everyone that is supposed to be here made it despite the icy roads. Last night was a hit thanks to ladder ball, good drinks, and the fire pits. The brunch is fabulous, so I’d say overall, even though it’s only day one–”
“I’m not talking about the wedding,” she says, and I look over at her. Josie is smiling, and I know what she means now. Of course, I play dumb.
“What do you mean?” I ask. I suppose that if I am going to pretend not to know what she’s referring to, I should stop staring at what she is referring to. Orwhomshe is referring to, should I say. It’s kind of hard to do when I can see him standing across the room. He’s hard to miss in those black fitted jeans and forest green jacket.
“Well, maybe if you stop drooling for a moment we can talk about it,” she says as she gives me a nudge.
“But look at him,” I say. “Seriously. Can you believe that man is forty-five? Looking like that? It’s a crime!”
“And that makes you guilty by association,” she chuckles. My cheeks redden at the suggestion of what Gavin and I have done.
“Well, I can’t keep associating with him,” I say, straightening my dress as much as I can. It’s fitting a little more snugly these days, mostly in the breast area.
“What do you mean?” Josie asks, munching on a fruit cup.
“We banter and bicker a lot, and people might get the wrong idea. They might think we are flirting,” I whisper with a smile as my eyes sweep over the room. I’m doing my best not to let my gaze land on Gavin, but it’s not easy. Especially when he is blatantly doing the same thing on the other side of the room. I can’t help but wonder who else it’s blatant to.
“But you do flirt with him,” she says. “You two flirt a lot.”
“We do not!” I snap. Then I chew my lip. “We do?”
“You do,” she laughs.
