“She would,” I say after a long, unhurried moment. Elias might be candid, but he’s never pushy.
“How do you feel about that?” he asks.
“About dating again?”
“Dating…falling in love.”
“I could date. I have dated,”
“Dating and hooking up aren’t the same,” he says with a small, one-sided smirk.
“Tomato, tomato.”
“More like apples and oranges,” he says. “I don’t know, brother. I get that it’s gut-wrenching, but I’d also love to see you happy again.”
“I am happy,” I say casually, though my eyes don’t fully meet his.
“Alright,” he says, finally giving up. “I’m sure when it’s time, love will find you. And when it does, you’ll be just as helpless as you were the first time.”
Chapter 13
Charlotte
“Are there alwaysthis many pregnant people here?” I ask, shifting nervously in my seat.
Josie is scrolling through social media. “I mean, it is a women’s clinic.”
“Yeah, but are there always this many pregnant people? And babies?” I ask.
Josie puts her phone down. “It’s going to be fine, Char. This is normal. All of it is very normal.”
I suppose she’s right.
We are at my OBGYN. I come here every year, just not for this reason. Now that I am sitting here, waiting for the nurse to call my name, I am hyper-focused on all things baby. Maybe it’s all in my head, or maybe it’s hormones, but I swear everything smells like baby. Baby powder. Milk. Freaking Goldfish crackers.
And speaking of snacks. Am I going to have weird cravings? There’s literally a woman dipping Hot Cheetos in strawberry cream cheese.
“Are you doing okay?” Josie asks, and it yanks me back.
“Yeah, fine. Why do you ask?” I blurt out.
“Because you’re tapping your foot and wringing your hands. You look like you want to crawl under the chair,” she says.
“I’m not going to crawl under the chair,” I say. “You think they do virtual appointments? That’s a thing since COVID, isn’t it?”
Josie leans into me and whispers. “I don’t think they can examine your vagina via Zoom.”
“Dang,” I say, and Josie reaches over to grab my hand. “It’s going to be fine. You’re doing great. It’s like jumping into a cold pool. Once you’re in the water and past the shock, it won’t be so bad.”
“I’m a terrible swimmer,” I mumble. “I sink like a rock.”
“Charlotte Richards?” the nurse calls.
“Oh God, is it too late to crawl under the chair? Think she’ll see me? Distract her!” I whisper, but Josie just smiles and stands up, raising her hand like the school is taking roll call and she’s a straight-A student.
“Present!”
The nice thing about leaving the waiting room is it gets me away from all the women who look like they’re going to pop. The downside is that the room feels intimidating with the stirrups, overhead lighting, and screens.
