But I’m not laughing.
I’m not even smiling.
I’m running my hands through my hair and pacing the bathroom floor.
I’m trying not to look at the little white sticks on the bathroom counter that are all screaming the same thing at me.
Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant.
I stop and throw my hands up in the air. “How did this even happen?!”
Josie looks up at me. She’s sitting on the closed toilet with her hands in her lap, perfectly calm.
Meanwhile, I’m freaking the heck out.
“You had sex with the silver fox from the bar, didn’t you?” she asks.
“Yeah, we had sex. Great sex. Wild sex. The best sex I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve only been with two other people, but that’s still saying a lot,” I answer.
“Wait, your body count is only three people long?” she asks.
“Yes. There was Jeremey in high school. He was the captain of the Mathletes. And then there’s Ben, of course, and now Gavin.”
“And he didn’t wear a condom?” she asks.
“No.”
“And you’re not on birth control?” she asks.
“No,” I say, looking down at all the positive sticks.
“Well. That’s probably how it happened then,” she says. “Try to look on the bright side.”
“Is there a bright side?” I ask, picking up one of the sticks and shaking it like it’s a Magic Eight Ball. Maybe if I jostle it around, it’ll give me a different answer.
“Yeah. You could be pregnant with Ben’s baby,” she says with a smile that’s meant to be encouraging, but it fades when she sees the look on my face.
When I realized my period was late, Josie was the first person I called. I did leave out one itty-bitty detail.
“So…funny story…” I say, and her eyes widen.
“Why do I get the feeling that that’s just a figure of speech?” she asks. I let out a smile-less chortle that sounds more like I’m losing my mind than actually laughing.
I take in a deep breath before forcing the next sentence out. “Gavin is Ben’s father.”
She doesn’t seem to absorb the words right away. Josie just blinks at me like I’m speaking another language and her brain is trying to translate.
“Wait. Gavin is…”
“Ben’s father,” I answer.
“So, Ben is…”
“Gavin’s son,” I say.
“Holy shit,” she lets out, and I half laugh, half cry.
“I know, right? What are the fucking odds? Sorry,” I apologize for swearing. I’m not a cusser, but every once in a while I give myself a hall-pass. “Leave it to me to have all the men in the world to choose from for a roll in the hay and they turn out to be related. Not only that, but he’s my ex-boyfriend’s dad! The best sex I’ve ever had was with the father of my ex-boyfriend! Oh, and bonus, I am pregnant with his child!”
