For all his bullshit about everything being a transaction, when we’re alone in this room together, with nobody around to hear, with no stakes or negotiations, all he wants to do is kiss me.
And as sick as it is, I want that too.
I turn to face him. I put my hands on his chest. His heart is steady as I get on my toes and gently press my lips to his.
He takes a breath through his nose. I open my eyes in surprise as he pulls me tight. His mouth opens and mine does too. His taste floods me, like his cologne, but sharper, whisky bright and burning. I lean into that kiss, shock pulsing down my spine. Is this what it’s like to kiss a man I actually want? Is this how it can feel? I understand why people talk about sex like it’s destructive, because I’m ablaze with how badly I want him to keep going, and that scares me more than anything.
I pull back with a gasp and push my hands against his chest.
His expression is fierce. His lips are pink from being kissed. I put distance between us, shaking my head rapidly to try to clear it.
“We can’t,” I say. “This is too much. You're a stranger. It’s bad enough I’m doing this—“ I gesture down at the dress. “But I can’t.”
He seems to understand. He takes a moment to compose himself. For such a serious, intense person, that kiss did something to him, too.
He wants more, like I do.
And that’s dangerous.
“The priest is waiting,” he says and holds out a hand.
Now’s my last chance. I can turn around and get the hell out of here. This dress, this room, the drone attack, it’s all madness. Maybe I’ll wake up and find out this was all a dream, or maybe I can go to the cops and beg them to put me in protective custody or something.
But I know none of that makes sense.
Whoever’s powerful enough to shoot a rocket from a drone through my apartment window, they’ll be able to kill me no matter where I try to hide.
“Let’s go then.”
I take his hand and we leave the room together.
I’m barefoot as I walk with Gabe into the chapel. The room is partially lit. The main floods remain off. Only the accents are on, casting a strange, shadowy glow over the room. There’s aman sitting in the front pew, a person I’ve never seen before. He’s probably Gabe’s age but larger, more rugged, handsome in a scary kind of way. He nods and I realize there’s a gun lying across his lap. It sends a jolt of fear down my spine.
The priest acts like nothing’s amiss. “Are we all ready?” he asks, looking around the room.
There are a total of four people at my wedding.
This isn’t how I pictured the biggest moment of my life.
“We’re ready,” Gabe says, positioning me beside him.
The priest takes in my bare feet with a pained look. The hem of the dress is black and leaves sooty marks on the carpet. He exhales, resigned. “We’ll do this fast. Do either of you mind if I skip a lot?”
“Please do, Father.” Gabe seems joyous. “Let’s go right to the good stuff.”
“Wonderful.” The old priest clears his throat. “Does anyone want to object?” He turns to the other man sitting in the pew. “What about you, Daniel?”
“Not me, Father.” Daniel flashes a wide, toothy smile. “Just happy to be here.”
“Right.” The priest looks at me nervously like he’s hoping I’ll speak up and give him an out, but I keep my mouth shut, and he reluctantly does a very abridged ceremony. There’s a short speech about marriage, fidelity, honesty, and he instructs us to exchange rings. Daniel has that covered. He brings them up, seeming almost apologetic as he digs them from his pocket. Gabe slides mine on and it fits like the dress.
This feels rehearsed. Planned to the last detail. Some sour note buzzes in the back of my head until the priest walks us through the vows and gestures expansively. “By the power vested in me, you’re married. Congratulations. Now?—“
He doesn’t finish that sentence. Gabe steps closer and kisses me for the second time.
But this one is different. There’s a hunger to the way he presses our mouths together. I kiss him back, wildly and stupidly, terrified and drowning in him. That kiss lasts a lifetime, and when it’s over, I know I’m a different person on the other side.
“Now we sign the paperwork,” Gabe says, pleased as anything.
