“You know,” Liam said, breaking the silence, “being careful doesn’t mean not taking any chances at all. It just means taking the right ones, at the right time, for the right reasons.”
I looked at him, surprised by the insight. “When did you get so wise?”
He grinned. “I’ve always been wise. You’ve just been too busy being an idiot to notice.”
I threw a pillow at him, careful to avoid hitting Rory. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Anytime.” He shifted Rory slightly, looking down at her with a softness that still surprised me coming from my normally sarcastic friend. “You know, having a kid doesn’t mean you can’t have anything else in your life. It just means you have to be more thoughtful about what else you choose to include.”
I’d been thinking of my feelings for Harper as a complication, something that might distract me from being the father Rory needed. But maybe that wasn’t the right way to look at it. Maybe it was about making space for both, if that’s what I decided I wanted.
“I need to slow down,” I said finally. “Take some time to think about what I really want, what’s best for Rory, and what Harper might want too. No impulsive decisions.”
“Again, surprisingly mature.”
“Stop saying that like it’s a miracle.”
Liam laughed, then grew serious again. “For what it’s worth, I think Harper’s good for you. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at her, especially lately. And the way you talk about her? I mean, come on.”
I felt heat rise to my face. “That obvious, huh?”
“You’ve got it bad, my friend.”
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I know.”
“So you’re really going to take some time to figure this out?”
“Yeah. Harper’s got her audition tomorrow, so she’s focused on that, as she should be. That fellowship means everything to her.”
Liam nodded approvingly. “And after that?”
I took a deep breath, uncertainty and possibility swirling together in my chest. “After that, I guess we’ll see.”
THIRTY
Nerves ricocheted around my stomach as I approached the auditorium in downtown Missoula where the Montana Philharmonic was holding their auditions. I’d second-guessed every decision this morning, from my black dress to my hair styled in an updo that somewhat tamed my wild curls.
To say I was nervous would be a gross understatement.
Outside the auditorium, a small cluster of musicians hovered near the entrance, all with the same tense expressions and carefully arranged formal wear. I recognized a few from regional competitions—including Carson Lin, whose skill on the violin was intimidating even to seasoned performers. He’d probably play something flawlessly and make us all look like novices.
“Harper?” Carson looked up from his sheet music as I approached. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
I forced a smile, ignoring his remark. “Good to see you, Carson.”
“You’reauditioning for the fellowship?” Unfortunately, being talented had never taught Carson how to have class.Instead he was a prick who thought he was better than everyone else. Maybe talentwise that was true, but otherwise he was a condescending and terminally judgmental human being.
“I am.”
“Interesting.” His tone suggested otherwise. “What are you playing?”
Before I could answer, a cellist exited the auditorium looking slightly shell-shocked. “They’re brutal in there.”
Perfect. Just what my nerves needed.
I excused myself from Carson and headed into the waiting area, taking a seat on a plush bench away from the other musicians. From inside the auditorium, I could hear fragments of another audition—a flutist playing what sounded like Mozart, technically perfect but it still somehow lacked soul.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly pulled it out, half expecting to see Drew’s name. My stomach did a little flip when I realized how much I wished it were him. The almost-kiss from yesterday had been playing on repeat in my mind, making it nearly impossible to focus on practicing once I’d gone home.
