“I have a life in Toronto, Avery.”
“Yeah but think about it—you could train here, hang out with Théo, we could hit the club together.” He gestured around the table. “I’m surrounded by dudes all the time. It’s exhausting.”
I watched Hana’s expression flicker—something sharp and quickly buried—before she took a deliberate sip of her drink. I wanted to reach across the table and shake my brother. For someone who spent his life reading plays on the ice, he was spectacularly blind to the ones happening right in front of him.
“I don’t think Sabrina is going to uproot her entire life because you’re tired of male bonding,” I said flatly.
“I’m just saying, some variety would be nice.” Avery shrugged, completely oblivious to the way Hana was studying her cocktail like it held the secrets of the universe.
Sabrina caught my eye and raised a brow.Is he always this dense?
I gave her a subtle eyebrow lift.Worse.
“I’ll take it under advisement,” she said dryly, easing herself out from under Avery’s arm. “But don’t hold your breath.”
Petrov launched into a loud story about a road trip gone wrong—something about a lost bag, a broken elevator, and having to climb six flights of stairs with his luggage. Derek laughed and added a detail Petrov had conveniently left out, something about a fire alarm and Petrov in his boxers in the hotel lobby. The table erupted.
The moment dissolved. Hana’s shoulders loosened a fraction.
I made a mental note to corner Avery later and ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing. But that was a conversationfor when we were both sober and I had the patience for his inevitable defensiveness.
Across the table, I met Derek’s eyes again.
He was watching me with that quiet steadiness—no pushing, no demands. Just present. Patient. Like he’d wait all night if that’s what it took.
And like the coward I was, I stayed on my side of the table.
I laughed at Petrov’s jokes. I answered Hana’s questions about my skating even though it was a testy subject. I let Sabrina and Avery bicker about Toronto versus Chicago like it was an Olympic event. Derek chimed in occasionally—defending Chicago’s pizza, teasing Avery about his terrible taste in music—but his eyes kept drifting back to me. Every few minutes, I let myself glance at him. Just long enough to confirm he was still there, still looking, still waiting.
I knew Avery and Sabrina were completely platonic. Her earlier comment about incest wasn’t far off—she’d been around so long she practicallywasfamily. But watching Hana watch Avery watch Sabrina made something twist uncomfortably in my chest.
We were all just orbiting each other, weren’t we? Wanting things we couldn’t say. Pretending we didn’t notice.
Around eleven, Petrov announced he was “too old for this shit” and called it a night. That seemed to break the spell. Hana mentioned an early class and Avery—finally reading the room for once—offered to take her home.
Which left me, Sabrina, and Derek.
The table felt smaller all at once.
Sabrina stood abruptly and grabbed her purse. “Bathroom. Back in a minute.”
As she passed behind Derek, she shot me a pointed look over his shoulder—talk to him—and disappeared into the crowd.
Traitor.
The silence stretched. Derek turned his glass slowly on the table, condensation leaving wet rings on the wood.
“Théo—”
“Derek—”
We both stopped. He huffed out a quiet laugh and ducked his head. “You first.”
“No. Go ahead.”
He nodded, still not quite meeting my eyes. “I wanted to apologize. For last night. If I pushed too far or made you uncomfortable or—” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to mess this up. Whatever this is.” A beat. “Even if it’s just… being friends. I want that. With you.”
Friendslanded somewhere in my chest and stuck there, uncomfortable.
