“Thank you for coming. I know it wasn’t easy.”
“I’d do it again,” I said. “Whenever you need me. I mean that.”
He smiled—small, tired, but genuine. “I know you do. That’s why I asked for you.”
“Take care of yourself, Nico.”
“You too.”
I walked out of the room, past the locked doors, past the nurse’s station, into the hallway where Sabrina was waiting. She took one look at my face and opened her arms.
I fell into them and let myself break.
39. Derek
I thought I knew fear. I thought I knew loss. I thought I knew depression. The period after I lost Mackenzie and Cooper and hockey was the darkest of my life.
This was different.
Théo was in Toronto with Nico. His ex-boyfriend of three years. The one who’d just tried to kill himself. And I was here, in Chicago, pacing my apartment like a caged animal while Aspen watched me with worried eyes.
I wanted to call him. I’d picked up my phone at least a dozen times, typed out messages I never sent.
Are you okay?
I’m here if you need me.
I love you.
That last one I deleted immediately. Too much. Too soon. Not the right time.
I didn’t feel like I had the right to intrude on whatever was happening between them. This was Théo’s past, Théo’s pain, Théo’s person. I was just the new guy. The one who’d only been in his life for a few months. What could I possibly offer that would help?
So instead of calling, I did something stupid.
I pulled up Reddit.
A terrible place to go when drama was unfolding. The figure skating forums were already ablaze with speculation, dissectingevery scrap of information like vultures picking at a carcass. It brought out the worst in people. Ugly. Nasty. Judgmental.
NICOLAS FONTAINE HOSPITALIZED - MEGATHREAD
Sources confirm Canadian figure skater Nicolas Fontaine was admitted to hospital in Toronto late Tuesday night. The two time World silver medallist and reigning Canadian national champion has been one of the sport’s brightest stars since his senior debut at 18. Details are scarce, but rumours suggest an overdose.
I scrolled through the comments, hating myself for it.
This is so sad. He was such a talent. Junior Worlds 2022 was incredible.
Does anyone know if this is related to the breakup with Julien? They were so cute together.
Okay but can we talk about how his decline started right after Beaubien left Toronto?
There it was. I kept scrolling.
THE THÉO BEAUBIEN CONNECTION - A TIMELINE
Someone had compiled an entire post. Photos. Screenshots. Speculation dressed up as analysis.
Théo Beaubien and Nicolas Fontaine trained together under Coach Renaud for nine years. They were VERY close. Some of us suspected they were more than friends but nothing was ever confirmed.
