“It’s not a disaster. It’s called being human.” Sabrina’s voice softened. “You’re allowed to have feelings, Théo. You’re allowed to want things.”
“I don’t know how to do this. The relationship thing. I ruined the last one.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. The secrecy ruined it. Competing against each other ruined it. Enabling each other’s worst habits ruined it. You just... you just survived it.”
“I ran away to another country.”
“Strategically relocated,” she corrected. “There’s a difference.”
“Is there?”
“Yes. One sounds cowardly and the other sounds like self-preservation.” She paused. “Which it was, by the way. Self-preservation. You were drowning in Toronto. Leaving was the right call.”
I didn’t say anything. My throat felt tight.
“And this thing with Derek,” she continued, gentler now. “It’s different, isn’t it? It feels different?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “It does.”
“Then maybe you should stop waiting for it to blow up and just... let yourself have it.”
I stared at the ceiling. The thought was terrifying. Also, annoyingly, a little bit hopeful.
“Now stop deflecting and tell me about the mom situation.”
Right. The actual reason I’d called.
“She’s coming for a visit. Avery wants to do dim sum with some friends—the whole‘everything is fine and dandy’routine before she decides to move into his apartment to keep an eye on me.” I picked at a thread on the pillowcase. “I don’t know if I should invite Derek. It’s a group thing, so it wouldn’t be weird, but... meeting my mother feels like a big step. What if she figures it out? What if Avery—”
“What if you spontaneously combust from overthinking?”
“Not helpful. We’re in a weird—”
“Théo.” She cut through my spiral with practiced ease. “Just invite him. He’ll go along with whatever you want to do. That man is down bad for you.”
“Stop. I’m just incredible in bed.”
“You stop. I saw the texts,snowdrop.”
I wrinkled my nose. “It sounds weird when you say it.”
“That’s because his sex voice is probably all low and growly.”
“He doesn’t only call me that during sex.”
“Exhibit A.” I could hear her smirking through the phone. “Derek Sullivan is down fucking bad. And so are you, even if you won’t admit it. Invite him.”
“What if it’s too much too fast?”
“Then he’ll tell you. He seems like the type who actually communicates like a functional adult.” A pause. “Which, no offense, you could learn from.”
“Rude.”
“Accurate.”
I sighed. She wasn’t wrong. Derek had been nothing but patient, nothing but honest, nothing but exactly what he seemed. The least I could do was meet him halfway.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll invite him.”
