I handed it over in a daze.
“Logan isn’t coming back, Harper. The sooner you accept that and forget about him, the better. Now go. Make connections and don’t disappoint me like your clown of a brother.”
“Yes, sir.” My voice sounded so far away.
I put one foot unsteadily in front of the other. I just needed to get away. Everything was happening too fast, and I just needed a damn moment to breathe. When I was out of his eyeline, I broke into a sprint, heading for the tall forest that surrounded the resort, unsure of any destination exceptaway.
I ran until I couldn’t anymore, until my eyes blurred with tears and I couldn’t see where I was going. My foot caught on a root, and I hit the ground before I could correct myself. Air escaped me. My limbs felt foreign to me. Out of my control. The entire world was spinning, and I couldn’t find which way was up as I choked out a sound that had been building inside me for weeks.
How had everything changed so fast? Logan had caused all this and couldn’t even talk to me about it himself? It wasn’t fair. I wanted to be angry with him, wanted to blame him for all of it. But I also missed him so fucking much. He was always the one to fix things. He was always the one to help me. I was so lost without him.
I pushed back against the base of a tree to remain concealed in case anyone came looking, and I cried. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. It all welled to the surface and flowed over because I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Harder and harder. Until I couldn’tbreathe. Until my limbs trembled and my chest and throat ached, and I still couldn’t stop crying.
“Hey.” Another voice.
I choked back a sob as I snapped toward a face I didn’t recognize. A boy about my age. Why couldn’t people just leave me alone?
“Go away!” I yelled before I could think better of it.
It was a mistake. I knew it as soon as the words left my lips, but instead of apologizing like I knew I should, I started crying harder. Because I was already messing this up. I couldn’t handle it. I was going to disappoint my father. I wasn’t good enough.
My lips tingled, my lungs fought to take in air and expel it at the same time.Too much.
“Hey.” The boy spoke again. His voice was gentle, but him being here made it all worse. “Hey, look at me.”
I couldn’t. His hand gently grasped my wrist, and I pulled it away from him. “No!”
“What color are my eyes?”
What? “I don’t know!” The question made little sense.
“Then look, and tell me.”
I grunted as I pulled away from him, but I cast a quick glance in his direction. Just long enough to see his eyes.
“Brown.”
“What kind of brown?”
“I don’t know!”
“Look closer. Are they brown like chocolate or… brown like shit?”
What was this guy talking about? I looked up at him again, wiping my eyes so I could see him better and answer his stupid question. His eyes were light brown, almost amber. “Neither.”
“Then what?”
I glanced around us, scanning until I found what I was looking for. Unhooking my arms from around my knees, I crawledtoward it, picking up a fallen leaf and shuffling back. I held it up next to his face as I sniffed. The dead leaf had lost almost all its former color, leaving behind a soft brown. It matched his eyes perfectly. “Like this.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “Describe it to me.”
“You never looked into a mirror?”
He huffed a laugh. “Just try it?”
