“Jesus, Ma, let the man put some clothes on.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“Well,hedoes.”
Their voices faded as I dashed up the stairs and into Benny’s bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me.
With my back against it, I slid down onto the ground.
Coming here had been a mistake. Now Ginny knew about us. She knew who I was. It would only be a matter of time before she told Rachel and Rachel told people at work and then my father would find out and all of this would be over.
I wasn’t ready for this to be over.
I pulled the neck of Benny’s hoodie up, letting his lingering scent fill my lungs as I tried not to panic. There had to besomethingI could do. Could I bribe her? Would she take it? Would she be offended?
Fuck.
My head thumped against the door.
The room was covered in rose petals and our discarded clothing. Everything had been so perfect, so right. Now it was all wrong again, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
My arms wrapped around my knees. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there for, but eventually there was a soft knock on the other side of the door.
“Baby?” Benny’s voice was so soft I wouldn’t have been able to hear it had I not been sitting directly on the other side of the wood.
I shuffled to the side and reached up to unlock it.
The door slowly opened, then closed. He locked it again and then sat on the ground beside me.
“Your mom knows.”
He sighed. “Yeah.”
“She knows who I am. She recognized me.”
A deeper sigh. “Yeah.” His arm wrapped around the back of my shoulders and I leaned into him. “I’m so sorry, love. I had no idea she was comin’. I thought she’d be watchin’ the kids for Rach, but apparently they’re playin’ at a friend’s place.”
“What if she tells people?”
He placed a slow kiss to my temple. “She won’t. I’ve already made her promise she won’t tell anyone. Not even Rach, and I trust her.”
I wanted to trust her too, but I didn’t know her. I trusted Benny, though. I knew he wouldn’t lie to me. “She wants me to come to family dinner.”
He huffed. “Yeah. But you don’t have to do anythin’ you’re not ready for, baby.”
Nothing had changed. Ginny still knew about us before I was ready for her to, but just having Benny beside me made it all feel like maybe it wasn’t quite as bad as I’d thought.
I pushed my head toward him again and he kissed my temple like I hoped he would. “I’m not ready for that.”
His arm tightened around me. “That’s fine. I’ll make somethin’ up for her.”
“She wants me to call herMa.”
“Yeah. She makes Rikky call her Ma too.”
Ma. As in Mom. She wanted me to call herMom. My own mother didn’t like being called Mom, and Benny’s would just accept me? Just like that? Even knowing everything I’d put him through?
“She knows I hurt you… and shestillwants me to call her Ma.”
