Benny seemed concerned, his hand gently squeezing my knee in silent comfort. Because what could he even say to that?
“Do you know where Logan is now?”
I shook my head.
“We could probably find him.”
I shook my head again. “I’ve tried. I’ve looked him up. I can’t find anything on him—no articles, social media accounts, nothing. And he doesn’t reply to my texts.”
He thought about that for a while. “I can ask Rikky to find him.”
“Is he in law enforcement or something?”
Benny huffed in amusement. “Or somethin’.”
I gave him a questioning look.
“I don’t ask questions because I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know. His family’s intense and I really don’t want to know the details of what they do, but from what Rikky tells me, they’re good at trackin’ people down.”
I pondered that. I’d considered hiring a private investigator to track Logan, but it’d be difficult to do that without Dad finding out. He had access to all my bank accounts and would ask questions about large expenditures.
I’d also considered asking Archer. He’d told me once his family were kind of like bounty hunters or something. But he’d cut ties with most of them before I’d built myself up to it. Besides, the Kovats family were also connected to Dad.
There was also the very real possibility that Logan just didn’t want to be found, that he didn’t want to be contacted, not even by me. Why else would he have sent that text to me shortly after leaving and not even replied to anything since then? The messages had shown as delivered and seen.
Benny continued to rub my leg soothingly. “Well, once you’re comfortable meetin’ Rikky—and no pressure to do that now or ever, just if you decide you want to—then we can ask him about it. Or if you’re comfortable, I can just ask him.”
That would mean Benny giving someone the Lorens name. Even if it wasn’t mine, it was too risky. I shook my head.
He nodded, leaning over to kiss my temple. “Okay, baby. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
Baby. My throat tightened. I quickly picked up my bowl from the table and started shoveling food into my mouth.
Benny selected a movie I hadn’t even heard of before today and picked up his own bowl.
It was better than I thought it’d be. I got so invested I didn’t even notice that I’d stopped eating until Benny’s fork was feeding me instead. My eyes stayed on the screen as I let him, until he pulled the bowl out of my hands because I’d apparently finished everything.
When my eyes flicked over to him to see if he was as shocked as I was at the reveal, I noticed he was already looking at me. In a way I suspected he may have been for a while.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothin’. I just like lookin’ at you.”
“Okay.”
My eyes moved back to the screen, but I was aware of him now, and he kept watching me. “Stop that.”
Benny looked away, a smile over his lips. “Sure.”
I turned back to the TV, but I was watching him from the corner of my eye and noticed the moment he turned to look at me again. I waited to see if he would look away. He didn’t.
“What?” I snapped at him.
“Nothin’,” he said as he turned away again.
“No. It’s something. Tell me.”
Benny sighed, but that smile returned to his lips as he looked at me again. “It feels like I’m dreamin’. Havin’ you here with me like this. I just want to soak it in as much as I can.” His fingertips gently traced along my jaw. “I went so long without seein’ you. Now that I can look at you as much as I want to, how am I supposed to ever look away again?”
