He shook his head. “I mean, my ma knows something happened, but she wasn’t able to get any details out of me. If you knew my ma, you’d understand what an accomplishment that is for me.”
The talk of families and this being anything other than a secret made my skin feel itchy.
“You told someone, though,” he reminded me, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Yes, well, he wasn’t capable of keeping that to himself for even a full day. So at least I know not to trust him with any more secrets.”
Benny chuckled. “He was worried about you.”
Pressure built behind my brow. “W…what did he tell you?”
“Not much. Nothin’ about…” He let the name remain in the shadows. “Just that you weren’t well, and that maybe I could help.”
“Has to involve himself in everything,” I scoffed, because that was safer than acknowledging what Matthewhadtold him.
“Yeah, well, that’s what dads do.”
There were conflicting emotions rising at that statement, but I chose to pursue amusement. “Matthew’s not my dad.”
“Oh… doesheknow he’s not your dad?”
I huffed again, then grabbed Benny’s face between both hands and yanked him down into a quick and unnecessarily firm kiss, before pushing him away again.
“Gross,” he teased. “Gimme more.”
“So demanding. Am I going to have to retrain you, pup?”
He nodded quickly. “I think that would be best, yes.”
I didn’t know how he could still want me. How he could still trust me. The thought was raw and heavy in my throat and incredibly difficult to swallow. Guilt, regret, gratitude, relief—they all mixed together in a tangled mess I wasn’t currently capable of unraveling.
“I need to shower.” Benny pouted, so I quickly continued. “And then I will work from home. But I do need towork, Benny.”
His eyes lit up. “And I can stay? While you work?”
“Only if you don’t try to distract me.”
“I’ll be good!” If he had a tail, I had no doubt it would be wagging right now.
“Okay, up. I need to shower.”
“Can I shower with you?”
That was a tempting thought. I wanted it, wanted him with me, and I feared if I didn’t let him come, he might not be here when I got back. But I also didn’t want him to see me yet. Under darkness and blankets, he hadn’t been able to see what I’d become, what I’d wasted down to. The shower would leave me too exposed.
It wasn’t logical. He’d had me covering him all night, my body pressed tightly against his. He’d already know. But it still felt like too much. Too vulnerable. “Maybe next time?”
His eyes softened, and he nodded.
I shoved a pillow on top of Benny’s head and told him he wasn’t allowed to remove it until I left the room. He groaned but obeyed, because he was still so good for me.
Then I picked out my clothes and took them to the bathroom with me.
After a quick but efficient shower, I returned to my room to find Benny absent. My chest tightened, and I rushed toward the elevator, only to stop short when I caught sight of him in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.
A sigh of relief escaped me.
I watched him in silence as he moved around, locating things and making himself more at home here than I ever had.
