“I have you, brother,” he said as he kept me there. Kept me to him. Until the pressure eased and I could breathe a little easier. A weight temporarily lifted.
He let me go, and we sat in silence. Adrenaline faded, and suddenly I was so tired.
“Talk to me.” Rikky’s leg nudged mine. “What happened?”
I sniffed. “I’m too much.” My voice came out quiet and raspy.
“You are yourself. You can’t be too much of yourself.”
I shook my head. “I came on too strong, too fast. Scared him off.”
He nodded. “I like this about you. You are always honest. No one has to guess what you feel. The right person will appreciate it.”
“Hewas my right person.” I raised my voice a little. “And I know it sounds stupid because what do I really know about him and his life? At the time, I didn’t even know his real name, or what he did outside of the club. But Isawhim. I understood him. I knewhim. Who he was under it all. At least I thought I did.”
Rikky nodded, contemplative for a while before he spoke again. “Well, either you feel this pain, you process it, heal from it, and let it go. Lethimgo.”
“Or?” I prompted when he was silent for too long.
“Or you fight.” His leg bumped mine again. “But you can not exist forever where you are now. You have to choose. You go forward without him, or you go back, get him, and drag him forward with you.”
I was silent. Processing.
“You need me to find him?”
“No,” I huffed.
“Okay.” Rikky shrugged. “But you need someone kidnapped, then I’m your guy.”
“Promise me you’ll never elaborate on why you’d say somethin’ like that.”
“Mmm. No.”
I laughed.
Rikky was right, I couldn’t stay stagnant any longer. It was eating me up from the inside and it made me lash out at the people I loved. I didn’t want to be like that. So now I had a choice to make.
My ribs hurt.
While I appreciated everything Rikky had done for me yesterday, and acknowledged his unorthodox methods were effective, I was aching, and I was grumpy.
At least it was Friday. I just had to get through today, then I could take the whole weekend to be moody in bed and think over what we’d spoken about last night.
I needed to choose.
My heart knew exactly which direction it wanted me to go in, but following my heart got me into this mess to start with. I had to use logic as well, and that was much harder.
I paced the breakroom. I’d tried to be useful today, but I had the feeling any tasks I’d found to do were intentionally left for me by Riley and Georgio out of pity. I wasn’t really needed. Maybe I could just go home early today and get a head start on brooding.
The door swung open.
“There you are.” Riley’s smooth voice, as if he’d had any trouble locating me. “There’s a man here to see you.”
“What man?”
Ri shrugged a shoulder. “He wouldn’t tell me anything, just said he needed to speak with ‘Mr. Forrester.’” He imitated some fancy accent I didn’t recognize.
Who the fuck?
