“He has my team workin’ the whole damn weekend,” Rachel said, far too loudly. My eye twitched. “It’s like he just expects we don’t have a life outside that lab. We’re just part of the company and not actual people. It’s so not fair. Like, sorry you don’t have a life, but I—”
“Is he workin’ too?” I interrupted.
“What?”
“Harper. Is he workin’ too?”
“Well… yeah, he’s always workin’.”
“Then why isn’t it fair? He’s just doin’ his job, and you’d just be doin’ yours. The job, mind you, that you were so excited to get and claim you love. So which is it?”
Rachel blinked at me. Ma blinked at me. The boys stopped shoving each other and looked between us all.
“What the f—heck is your problem? You’re what? Takin’ my boss’s side over mine, Benjamin?”
“I’m just pointin’ out that you’re complainin’ about a job you signed up for.”
“I don’t know who you think you’re talkin’ to, but itcouldn’tbe me. I suggest you consider what you’re sayin’ very carefully.”
“Okay.” Ma inserted herself into the staring match we’d locked into with each other. “Why don’t we all just take a few deep breaths and talk about somethin’ else?”
“Talk about whatever you want.” I stood abruptly, leaving my dinner half eaten.
“Bear Bear,” Ma called after me.
I didn’t stop. I closed the door a little more forcefully than necessary, repeating it with my car door too. I knew I wasn’t being fair to them, but Rachel got to seehimall the time, and she was complaining about it. What I wouldn’t give to be in her place.
I was jealous of my own damn sister because she got to exist in the same space as him and I didn’t.
Music blasted the moment I turned the car on and continued until I shut the engine off in front of the gym. It was closed now, but I had some feelings I needed to get out and only one way I knew how to do it.
I switched on the lights in the area I needed, grabbed my gloves, and beat the shit out of a boxing bag.
It didn’t help. Not even when sweat pooled down my face and back.
There was a reason I’d gone so far as a fighter. I was strong and ambitious, but I alsoneededit. Needed to be able to lock into a fight, where my mind quieted down to basic survival instincts. Adrenaline instead of anxiety. It was the one space my thoughts were completely silent. The one space, apart from when I was with him.
I’d lost that too. I’d lost fucking everything.
I grunted as I kicked the bag with everything I had. It swayed but refused to be taken down. I’d feel no sense of accomplishment here, or anywhere.
“Has the bag offended you?”
I jolted as a familiar and unexpected voice came from behind me. My heart should really be used to Rikky sneaking up on me by now.
“How the fuck did you get in here?”
“Back door code is very easy to guess. You should think about changing it.”
He had a point. Ma’s birthday probably wasn’t the most secure passcode.
“How’d you know I was here?”
“Your sister told me you were ‘being a bitch’ and I should ‘come get my man.’” He raised his hands to air quote her words. “Where else would you go?”
“Oh really? Rachel hadn’t complained enough today already? I’m shocked.”
Rikky nodded slowly. “Okay, so do you want to tell me what the problem really is, or do you want to fight something that can fight you back… andthentell me what the problem really is?”
