Frightened, she panicked, and her fingers scrabbled at his hand.
Chapter 39
A Courtyard of Darkness
Elizabeth scrabbled at the fingers wrapped around the back of her neck. Caspian yanked her towards him, bringing her face to his, their foreheads almost touching.
He closed his eyes, his breathing turning ragged, and when he opened them, they were silver wreathed in flame once more.
“Don’t,” he growled. “I’m trying to play nice tonight, but don’t push me.”
Her nostrils flared. “You find it that challenging to act like a gentleman?”
He brought a possessive hand to her cheek. “We’ve shared each other before. Several times now. Either spend the night with me or give me a valid reason. Some concrete answer on why you suddenly reject me.”
She tried to withdraw from him, but he held her firm. She spoke carefully, “Why do you care if I reject you? I am only a meal for you, after all.”
“It’s not like that,” Caspian muttered.
“How is it not?”
He released her and turned away. He dragged his hand through his hair. “It was at first, but it’s not anymore.” Caspian made a frustrated sound. “You drive mecrazy,” he said angrily. “You will be the death of me, Elizabeth. How can you not see that I’ve become attached to you?” He gestured around them. “I threw you a ball for Lucifer’s sake.”
She considered for a moment and said, tersely, “Thank you for the ball.”
Exasperatedly, he said, “So just … just tell me what I did, tell me how to fix what’s between us. What have I done wrong tonight?”
She pressed her lips together, trying to find a way to phrase the tumultuous feelings she had where he was concerned. How he made her smile one moment and made her crumble and feel unsure of herself the next. How he had given her so many reasons to loathe him.
How she wanted him, but her rational mind told her she would be a fool to ever sleep with him again.
But she didn’t know how to say any of that, so she said, “I can’t put it into words.”
“Try?” he asked.
She said nothing.
“Have I wronged you tonight?”
“No.”
“Do you want me?”
She said nothing.
“Do you want me, yes or no?”
She was silent for a moment. Finally, she whispered, “I do, but it frightens me.”
“I—it frightens me that I want this.” She splayed her hand over his chest. “Because I do, but my mind tells me it is the last thing on earth I should be doing. And that terrifies me.”
His expression softened, and he placed a hand upon her cheek. “You have my word that I will not hurt you tonight.”
Her eyes shuttered, and she glanced towards the night sky.Tonight.
“And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been staring at you in that dress all evening.”
She looked at him from lowered lashes and smiled a little. “Really?”
