Alex took a deep breath, trying to draw on any embers of remaining strength she may have, as she turned towards the door. She couldn’t put this off any longer. She needed to talk to Davin.
Chapter Fifty
Not Enough
Alex
Afire still blazed, warming the room against the chill that had crept into the air. The room was thick with tension as Davin stood with his hands in his pockets, his jaw tight just as he had hours before. Alex started to reach out, wanting to touch him, but let her hand drop back to her side, knowing that he wouldn’t welcome it. He had remained silent throughout the entire discussion, his anger never seeming to dissipate. They had tried to include him in the planning, but he had simply turned away again, facing the flames.
“Talk to me. Please?” Alex whispered, breaking the silence that stretched between them.
“Talk to you about what? Tristan? The fact that you hid all of this from me?” He threw his arms wide in his fury.
Alex stepped back at the venom in his voice. “It was never Tristan, Davin. It was Rivka. It’s always been Rivka.”
“So it’s just me then?”
“Davin no. I...”
“You what? You don’t need me? You don’t want me? But you didn’t want me to leave either, did you? You were just using me? Is that it?” he growled, taking a step towards her.
“Davin, I didn’t- I never meant to hurt you. I just-” She cut herself off, knowing that pain was pain, even if unintended.
He gave a ragged inhale before speaking. “Tell me why you thought lying to me was the right thing to do.” His voice now low and measured.
Alex tried to speak, but her words caught in her throat. “Davin..”
“No. No more excuses, Alex. Are you even who you claimed to be?” She flinched at his words, wrapping her arms around herself as if they could shield her from his harsh tone.
“It was never about deceiving you.” Damned if admitting this next part was more difficult than she’d imagined, but he deserved to know. “I was scared. I couldn’t trust anyone. Everyone lied. Had I told you the truth-”
Davin let out a bitter laugh. “If you had told me the truth, what? You thought that would make me want you any less? Would have had me running away? That I would abandon you?” He shook his head. “That’s the problem, Alex. You never even gave me the choice.”
Her breath caught, and for a moment, she felt like she might collapse under the weight of his words. He didn’t attempt to reach for her. Not this time. He just stood there looking at her, not even trying to conceal his bitterness. Her own anger flared.
“Maybe that’s true. But I’m not the only one holding their secrets close. I am not naive. I know you are more than you’ve let on. You didn’t let me in either, not really. The onlydifference is that now you knowmytruths, regardless of how that happened, but I still don’t know yours.”
Davin looked away from her at the accusation, and it fueled the fire burning within her. “How do you know my father?”
His body coiled with fury, his face contorted in anguish. “Your father is a murderer. My wife…our….” Alex arched an eyebrow, waiting for him to finish. He shook his head, as if trying to get himself under control.
“It doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore.”
“Of course! Here you are slinging accusations but still refuse to answeranyof my questions!” Alex snapped, her hold on her anger slipping. “You have a wife? One I’m just hearing about.”
“My wife has nothing to do with us. She is my past.”
“Your past? Yet you’re still angry about it, whateveritis.”
Davin stood rigid, staring at her. “I never set out to hurt you. I was honest about who I was and what my intentions were from the start.”
“Hurt me? You think you can hurt me? I broke my own heart by walking away from the one person I thought I would spend my life with because I didn’t trust her as I should have, and now, she’s gone.”
Davin exploded. “Exactly! You don’t trust anyone, Alex! Not even yourself. That was your mistake.”
His words stung, but he was right. Doubting those who loved her had caused more heartache in her life than she cared to admit. He moved toward her, as if he realized how deep his words had cut her, but she stepped back. She couldn’t bear to have him touch her right now.
“Alex..”
