My pulse quickens. "What is it?"
"You use your safeword when you need to. You don’t withhold it out of fear of disappointing me.”
“I can do that.” I might feel the need to push myself, but I know I’d use it if I really felt I was in danger or overwhelmed.
“Now if you consistently break the rules, if you're not taking care of yourself despite reminders and conversations there will be consequences."
"What kind of consequences?"
"That depends on what you respond to and what you need to process and reset." He pauses. "Some littles need time-outs.Corner time to think about their choices, like yesterday. I will often use this as a reset of sorts. It’s a good middle ground for when you are starting to tiptoe over the line but haven’t quite jumped it. Then, there is loss of privileges. This might be no screen time, including your Kindle, or treats.”
I gasp. “Daddy! No Kindle? That’s… that’s barbaric! That’s… you can’t possibly take away my books.”
“Well, if you really love reading and you’ve been especially naughty, I might send you to bed early with no phone, e-reader or books.”
I cover my mouth with my hand and shake my head. “I’ll never be that naughty!”
“Discipline is supposed to be a reminder on how to behave. And then, if those don’t work, you might need something more physical. Sometimes it’s what helps you let go of guilt and start fresh."
"You’re talking about spanking."
"Yes, spanking. But only if that's something you want to explore."
I think about the books I've read. The scenes where the Daddy corrects his Little with a firm hand and clear expectations. How the Little feels lighter afterward. Forgiven. Free. And how I get turned on every time I read a spanking scene. Sometimes, I flip straight to them in the books before I’ve read anything else.
"I think I want to try it," I whisper.
“Yesterday, the couple of times I gave you a swat, I noticed your breathing catching and the way you blushed.” Tyler's expression doesn't change, but I see something flash in his eyes. "Tell me why you want to try spanking."
"Because I carry guilt like a weight. When I mess up or don't meet expectations, I spiral. I can't let it go. I’ve always been that way. Guilt eats at me and I struggle with it sometimes formonths if not years." I still can recall the times I disappointed my parents or messed up at a job or hurt a friend and I still beat myself up. Those situations replay in my head. The times I’ve said the wrong thing at the wrong time. My voice cracks. "Reading about discipline, seeing how it gives the characters closure, it made sense to me. Like maybe that's what I need. A clear consequence and then it's over. Forgiven and forgotten. A clean slate."
"That's exactly what discipline is for. As my little, when I discipline you, it’s not punishment, it’s correction. A spanking from me will be a way to process what you did, remind you not to do it again, help you let go, and move us forward." He tilts my chin up. "But I need you to understand something. If we do this, it will hurt. Not unbearably, but enough that you feel it. Enough that it registers emotionally as well as physically. A discipline spanking isn’t going to tickle, sweetheart. It will hurt."
"I understand."
"And you'll use your safe words if it's too much. Remember, that’s a rule. If I push too hard or cross a line, you’ll say red and I’ll stop immediately. If you feel like you are getting close to needing to use it, you say yellow and I’ll know to slow down and communicate more."
"I will."
"Promise me, Chloe. This only works if you communicate. If you trust me enough to tell me when something doesn't feel right."
"I promise. Red means stop. Yellow means slow down. Green means keep going." I try not to roll my eyes, but we’ve been over this. I know he’s big on consent but sheesh, I get it already.
"Good girl." He pulls me into his lap, and I curl against his chest. His hand strokes my hair. "There's no timeline here, sweetheart. We move at your pace. When you are ready for sex and spanking, you let me know."
"What if I'm never ready?" I ask even though I know it’s not going to be an issue. I’ve already closed my eyes and masturbated to thoughts of him more times than I’m willing to admit. And spanking? I’m somewhere between anticipation and dread over it.
"Then we don't do it. Simple as that. My goal is to take care of you in whatever way you need. If that doesn't include physical discipline or sex, that's fine."
I burrow closer to him. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being patient and making me feel safe enough to explore this."
"Always." He presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Now. How about we watch something? Something light and fun that lets you relax."
"Can we watch Tangled?"
