I had to let him go. I had to get away because I was breaking, and that was the last thing I wanted to do in front of anyone. For as long as I could remember, I was the strong friend since I was the one who had been through so much. This, though, had broken me. It was wrong to walk away, and once my mind was right in a day or two, I would come back and pay for everything.
Back at the condo, I went straight to my bathroom and turned the shower on. Adore tried talking to me, but my mind had shut off. Yeah, I was used to losing people in this game. When it came to your closest homeboys, the shit just hit different, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I stripped out of everything and got in the shower. I didn’t know how long I had been in there until I heard Adore come in, grab my clothes, and put them in a bag.
She then stripped out of her clothes and stepped in the cold shower with me. Not a complaint. Adore grabbed my soap and washcloth and started washing my body. This was the first time in my life since I was a baby that I cried. Years of pain was running down my face and I had no way to stop it. When Adore noticed, she wrapped her arms around me. She let a nigga bawl with no judgment. Just silently held me like I was the only nigga in the world she loved. Adore let the little boy in me cry. I cried because I ain’t have to be strong when I was with her.
CHAPTER 12: ADORE
I held on to Whodie and let him cry it out. When he was finished, I bathed him again and then myself. I wrapped myself in a towel and then dried him off with his towel. We didn’t speak any words as I helped him get in bed. I didn’t have any clothes over here, so I had to throw on one of his shirts.
“You hungry? I can throw you something together real quick. Thirsty? Anything?”
“Nah,” he said with his back turned to me.
I let him have his space as I went to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I hadn’t eaten at all today because of the nervousness. Now that Mazi was a thing of the past, I could finally breathe and go on with my life. Something told me to make an extra sandwich, but I thought Whodie had gone to sleep. As I was leaning on the counter, scrolling and eating, Whodie walked in and took a bite of my sandwich.
“I thought you weren’t hungry?” I said.
“I wasn’t, but yo’ sandwich looked good,” he said, grabbing a bottle of water.
We both leaned on opposite sides of the counter. You could feel the tension between us. Both of us wanted to reach out andtouch, but were afraid the other would reject. Whodie grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me towards him.
“Thank you,” he said, kissing my lips.
“I got you.” I looked up at him.
“And I got you.”
“Since you got me, when you gon’ give me some pussy? You been cuffin’ that lil’ shit.”
“I hope you didn’t think I was going to give you some pussy and we’re not a couple.” I looked him up and down.
He laughed, “You want me to rest and wake up wit’ a clear head? If so, I need that pussy, baby,” he said, kissing my neck.
“Man, come on.” I grabbed his hand to lead him to his room.
“Nah!”
“What now?”
He nodded his head towards the balcony.
“Someone will see us,” I expressed.
“I don’t give a fuck ‘bout that. They can put us on Twitter all I care. What you on? Don’t tell me Big Bad Adore scared? You afraid of the people to see how this young nigga be havin’ yo’ ass stretched out?”
This was the side of Whodie that kept me youthful. I wasn’t super older than him, but I did try to keep things modest. Whodie didn’t give a fuck about what anyone had to say. He was the only one who could have me on a balcony riding his dick as we shared a blunt.
The next morning, my body was sore, and I had a headache. We had a little too much fun on the balcony and now I could barely move my legs. The sun coming through the condo didn’t make it any better. We forgot to let the shades down, and now the sun was cooking my ass. I rolled over to see Whodie laying on his stomach with his arms under his head. We both struggled to sleep last night, but when we did go, we slept hard as fuck. Reaching over, I rubbed the tattoos on his back.
“You gonna rub me right back to sleep,” he mumbled.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“Nah, I’ve been laying here listening to yo’ ass snore.”
“Nigga, please! I don’t snore.”
“Lie again. You only snore after sex, though.”
