I leaned into the wall with a heavy breath, closing my eyes.
“Miss,” I corrected Alex, “and I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Although I was one hundred percent looking for anything of value to stuff away in my room.
He chuckled before his eyes softened. “You don’t have to steal for comfort anymore. If there’s something you want, just ask.” Then his lips pressed into a humored grin. “Unless you just enjoy squirreling things away under your floorboard. Then by all means, don’t let me stop your fun.”
“I do not squirrel,” I grumbled.
“You do, but that’s fine. We all have our weird, sentimental quirks after the way we grew up.”
“Yeah? And what’s yours?”
Alex hummed in thought and then fingered the gold chain at his neck. “It was my mom’s."
I had noticed that the chain was daintier than what most men preferred. “I’m surprised Viktor and your Buyers let you keep it.”
“Let’s just say I know how to squirrel things away too.” Then he pushed off the wall and resumed his usual terse expression. “Back to the roof. That bomb isn’t going to build itself.”
I hesitated. “Alexander?”
He ran his eyes over me.
“Maybe we could both stop.” I swallowed thickly. “Hiding things, I mean.”
Exhaustion poked through his sternness. “Yeah, wouldn’t that be something.”
“Some would call it normal. You know, talking about your feelings.”
“Normal.” He inhaled deeply. “I want that for you, Arden. I really do.”
“But not yourself?”
He shook his head gently. “It may not seem like it,” he said carefully, his hand reaching to the back of his neck and kneading it, “but thisishappy for me. Normal.”
“You’re in pain,” I whispered, jutting my chin to his hand.
He dropped it, flexing his fingers with a furrowed brow as if he hadn’t realized he’d been trying to massage away the pain. Then he forced a smile. “Normal for me won’t be normal for you. You’ve still got your shot at life, Arden. All of you do.”
I folded my arms. “I don't know if I see it that way. What makes you think that?”
He shrugged and loosened his tie, fully letting go of his put together exterior and melting into the man I had grown to care for like family. Kind. Undeniably selfless. And brave. Jesus. His bravery—building the Ravens under the noses of S.I.N.—was unfathomable. “I just know,” he said simply. “There hasn’t been much you haven’t achieved when you want it. You’re building bombs frombooks, Arden. You’re crazy smart—and yes, I do mean both crazy and smart. But you’re…special. And I know you don’t want to hear that, that you hate being put on a pedestal. I know that, because I hate it too. The Ravens do that to me, and sometimes it makes breathing so much harder. But I believe it. I look at you, and I understand completely why Creed defers to your say. It’s blinding to watch over you. In the best way.”
I swayed unevenly. “Why did that feel like something you had squirreled away?”
He rolled his eyes, an uncharacteristically charming and boyish grin lighting up his face. “Get on the roof and back to work.”
“You’re not joining me?”
His grin fell. “I…can’t. I have to meet with my doctor.” His throat worked. “But tomorrow. I’ll be there.”
I clutched my biceps. "You still want to hang out on the roof even when there won't be a bomb to build anymore? At least, hopefully."
“Yeah. We can have dinner with the others and listen to music,” he said, forcing himself to sound casual despite the shake in his voice. “I’ve still got some life in me, and so do you, Arden Creed.”
“My friend Leah used to say something like that.”
“Mmm. Sounds like someone I would’ve liked then. Tell me about her tomorrow? After we've blown Halden to pieces?”
I managed a small smile. “Sure. Tomorrow.”
