“You should go.”
Amaal got to her feet, walked around to face him, and said what she never thought she would say.
“I like you.”
He was staring at the wall behind her, unperturbed.
“It’s embarrassing for me to say it to you like this when you have stopped even looking at me since coming back to Srinagar. But I am not backing down because I think you like me too…” She was scared of what she was saying and how vulnerable it was leaving her but she went on, hoping there was something good on the other side. And once opened, the tightest words of her thoughts just flowed.
“I don’t know how practicalities can work out but I am serious about this. What I mean is… I am not… thinking of some… affair or fling or something. I am serious. Do you feel the same about me? Did I feel it right in Jammu?”
He did not look at her. And a long minute passed. In silence.
Then his eyes quietly moved from the wall behind her to her. Amaal held her breath, hoping she was holding her hopeful smile too. Her chest was shaking, her fingers holding the ice pack now stubs. She waited.
“You are young, it happens.”
He stepped around her, opened the door and left the room. She kept her breath steady, fingers still freezing on his ice pack.
————————————————————
Amaal didn’t know how long she was inside that bedroom, alone. But when she finally found enough gumption to recover and walk out of the house, the party had ended. She checked her watch. Three hours had passed?
She glanced from the workers stacking the chairs and the food station winding up to Zorji and Khatriji sitting in one corner sipping kahwa. Nobody else was in sight.
“Amaal?” Begumjaan came up behind her, casseroles in hand. “Where were you?”
“I… got a call. I was inside.”
“For so long?”
“Yeah, I lost track of time. Everybody left?”
“Almost everybody. Did you eat?”
“Uhh… yes.”
Begumjaan’s eyebrow cocked — “Do not lie to me.”
“I did,” Amaal smiled, or tried to, hoping it would work. “The Naan was really very soft. Do you think there will be taxis outside? I came with Fahad and everyone… when did they leave?”
“There are no taxis here unless you book in advance. Wait, Samar is still here, he will drive you. Samar?” No answer. “Samar?”
“Yes?”
Amaal turned, and saw him walk out from the back of the house, a half-eaten plate of food in hand. She eyed his plate, then his face. How could she even count it as betrayal that he was eating while she hadn’t? He did not feel for her like she did for him. It was a painful feeling. But she would have to get over it. Soon. In a minute. Because work was here, life was here, and she wasn’t about to give up on everything she had worked so hard to build in this hostile world for a man who did not even see her with respect.
“When you are finished, can you drive Amaal home?”
“I don’t have my car.”
“Then how did you come?”
“Had somebody drop me.”
“Take my car!” Zorji yelled from his discussion in the corner.
“I am not in a condition to drive tonight.”
