“It’s been a year,” her mother said. “Are you happy here?”
“Hmm.”
“This is long-term, then?”
“Hmm.”
“And your future?”
Amaal rolled her eyeballs until her mother was in her field of vision. Upside down.
“It’s here.”
“An answer other than Hmm.” Mom stroked her hair. Amaal stilled.
What was this? Infatuation or admiration or something else? She had thought it would end after Jammu. That working in not-so-close quarters again, in the harsh realities of Srinagar, would cure her of whatever this was. But here she was, waiting for even a crumb of his attention, vying for his eyes, craving his Hmm. So much so that she herself had started parroting it.
“He looks like a good boy.”
Amaal’s breath hitched. She gaped at her mother.
Mom smiled, running her fingers through her hair — “After 20 years in the clinic dealing with all kinds of people, the intuition comes strong. Atharva seems genuine. He says what he means, and that’s a decent man. Even for a politician.”
“Oh no… Mom. No.” She sat up. “It’s not like that.”
Her mother frowned, sitting up and crossing her legs. “Did I read something wrong in that room?”
“Of course!” Amaal laughed. “Shit, how did you even think that? That’s ATHARVA!”
“You looked… red.” Her mother chuckled. “Maybe you were embarrassed taking your parents to your workplace.”
“Of course not! I am not a teenager anymore, Mom.”
Her mother’s sharp, assessing eyes stayed a moment too long on her before blinking away — “Forget it. If it’s not in your mind, then forget it.”
“Yes. PLEASE. I am here to work and build a life. Maybe one day… who knows… You and Dad would also like to come back?”
Her mother’s smile lost its sheen.
“I know what you have seen here, I know how hard it was for you to leave and create our life in London. I also know how much you love it. That is why I am saying that ‘maybe.’” Amaal shrugged.
“You can talk up Kashmir in your calls all you want, Amaal. But the reality is far from what you are building in your head. We saw it with our own eyes. My family had to leave overnight. Dad and I were scared they would come for me if they found out who I was.”
“It was that bad?”
“Yes…” her mother’s eyes went far away, then came back immediately. “We did not talk about that time so that you wouldn’t experience any trauma. But Amaal, it’s still the same. We saw it again with that Badamwari firing…”
“That was a one-off incident.”
“Let your elections start, then you’ll see. Dad is right, this is gutter. These politicians, their dirty power play…”
“You just said Atharva is genuine.”
“One good man cannot clean the filth of an entire hellhole like this. And even he is just starting out. See how he will become when power shoots to his head.”
“He won’t.”
Mom sighed. “I rest my case.” She lay back on her pillows again. “Maybe if things improve, you settle here for good, your husband and family are here… then we will come.”
