Oye shaitaaneya, raat nu phull na toddein, biba.[206]
“Ashutosh shashank shekhar chandramoli chindambara, koti-koti pranam shambhu koti naman digambara,” he crooned. “Nirvikar omkar avinashi,tumhi devadhi dev,jagat sarjak pralay karta,shivam satyam sundara…”
Nath nageshwar haro har paap shaap abhishaap tam, Mahadev mahaan bhole, sadaa shiv, shiv shankara.
Jagatapati anurakti bhakti sadaiv tere charan ho, kshama ho aparaadh sab, jai jai jayati jagdishwara.[207]
He collapsed, tears bursting out of his eyes, his throat, his stomach. The floor was too close and then he was on it, palms holding onto the marble, crying like he never had.
She wanted forgiveness for me. Even before I sinned, she wanted forgiveness for me.
Samar cried, touching his forehead to the shutters in front of him. The cool of the metal calmed the fire that had been burning inside him for months, years, his whole life.
Forgive me.
He cried.
Forgive me.
56. Dharmakshetre Kurukshetre samaveta yuyutsavah…
November 2018
1.1:
Dharmakshetre Kurukshetre samaveta yuyutsavah
Mamakah Pandavashchaiva kimakurvata Sanjaya
On the field of Dharma, on the field of Kuru, assembled and desiring to fight
What did my sons and the sons of Pandu do, Sanjay?
Commentary:
The Bhagavad Gita begins with blindness.
Dhritarashtra speaks first. He is a king without sight, with his hundred sons on the battlefield on a side that he knows is morally lost. He is asking for a report from this battlefield that he cannot see. But it’s the way he asks it, that sets the context of the past as well as the tone for the future.
“Dharmakshetre Kurukshetre…” —on the field of Dharma, on the field of Kuru, where the war is set upon sacred ground.
Then comes the word that changes everything —mamakah. My sons.
Before arrows fly, the blind king’s possession has already drawn its line. Dhritarashtra does not ask about the sons of his dynasty standing against each other, or even the warriors on the battlefield. He asks about his sons and his brother’s sons.
He is a man shaped by imminent loss, fixated on his attachment to his sons. This is where the dialogue begins — where love is anxious, vision is partial, and the heart does not yet know how to let go.
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Arjun Vishad Yog (The Yog of Arjuna’s Despair)
1.28-1.30:
Sidanti mama gatrani mukham cha parishushyati
vepathush cha sharire me roma harshash cha jayate
Gandivam sramsate hastat tvak chaiva paridahyate
