His lips curled.
“Your six months have been up for a month now.”
“You wouldn’t give me time on calls, so I waited for this meeting.”
She looked away. “Where were you?”
“Right here.” He cupped her chin and brought her face back to him.
“No you weren’t.”
“Not all of me, yet. No.”
The high of the last few minutes settled.
“Amaal.”
“Hmm.”
His eyes moved away into the distance. “We decided that I would right my wrongs and come back to you in six months to tell you if I am worth it.”
“Hmm.”
“What if I haven’t righted all wrongs yet?”
“Meaning?”
Dark eyes focused back on her — “Do you want to know in full detail or skim through?”
“What do you think?”
“Question with question?” He quirked an eyebrow. She quirked hers back.
“You are going back tomorrow.”
“We have the night.”
He nodded, took her hand from his shoulder and walked her to the sofa. He settled her, then took a seat beside her, not touching. But not too far either.
Samar took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “When I walked out of your house in Jammu, I did not have any set plan on how I would accomplish what I promised you. But I knew I would do it through my work, my mind and my body. You know parts of it anyway. But as I kept going, the ways kept opening up. About work, I haven’t hidden anything from you. HDP is building up to its first state elections this time. We are the third biggest party already in terms of strength. We are working towards expanding that and finding the right candidates across the state. But the party is not fundamentally as strong as I thought it to be. One of the reasons is my long absence in between. Everything has been shaken, there are so many holes in grassroots again, when the cadre has already been built upon it. It’s double work to fix it. A lot more travelling, a lot more tours, longer tours. I am not even here in Shimla for more than five days a month. Atharva has been working on it with me…” his face changed. “But you saw how it was between us. It’s been like that. I snap, I still snap and burn the other person without thinking. I should not have said that to him today. It was low, and mean, and I derived perverse pleasure if even for a second. Even though I want him to come out of this. Anyway…” he stopped from spiralling. “The point is, what I thought was the taking off point for HDP, was an illusion of beginner’s luck. The road is long and dependencies are high on me. But I am more confident in my own abilities in the real, white world than I ever have been. My body…” he held his arms out for her. “It’s as good as it will get now. You know about my latest reports, physio is mostly lifelong and gym has been added now. I don’t mind. Recovery has been faster the more I work, and I plan to work even more. Mind.” He stopped. Held her gaze. “I have been writing letters to my mother.”
Amaal’s brows rose. This was news to her.
“Since when?”
“Since you left. Part of therapy. It’s supposed to help me resolve all the stuff that went wrong right then when I was four. Because that’s where the root of everything lies. But…” he huffed, barking out a mirthless laugh. “I don’t know, Amaal. I will do it. I will make it work. But I want you to know that it hasn’t worked yet. And I don’t want to come to you like this.”
Her heart stopped.
She opened her mouth but he beat her to it, taking her hand in his — “Don’t even think about it.”
She closed her mouth — “How do you know what I was thinking?”
He tugged her to him, making her gasp. “There is no breakup for me now. I did not come so far on your path to turn away. You chose me one day, did some spell, and I have not been the same ever since. Now you can leave today or any day in the future but I will not.”
She glared at him. She was not leaving.
“What then?” She asked, frustrated, even though his words had never sounded better.
