He pulled back.
Dark eyes peered into hers, a strong hand holding her waist steady. “I don’t want to say I am sorry,” he whispered. “Are you crying because you didn’t want this?”
“What the hell was this?” She glared, panting, tears streaming down her face.
He stared, silent, looking appalled.
“What the hell was this?!” Her facial muscles began to crumple.
His throat worked a swallow, eyelids falling down until dark eyes were lowered. His arms began to loosen from around her.
“What the hell was this, Samar?!” She hollered louder and made his arms freeze where they were, half on her, half off. His eyes still remained lowered.
“This.” His scraped voice sounded. “Us.” His eyes rose. “If you still want it. If not, I am genuinely sorry…”
Her eyes widened.
His arms began to lower from around her.
“What’s the guarantee that I am not staring at the man I last saw in Srinagar?”
His mouth tightened. But Amaal saw hope flicker in his eyes. He was so expressive suddenly, or had he let another window open for her?
“There is no guarantee of life itself,” Samar said to her; solemn, brutal, honest. “But I am not here to cause anybody any harm knowingly, and if I can manage, even unknowingly. Least of all, you.”
“Why do you want this?” She snarled, stunned, tears still flowing down her cheeks and into her neck. “After all this time. Why do you want this?”
His thumb came to her jaw and wiped it clean. “Because I think now I can finally be the person who will be ready to work to deserve you.”
Her head felt too heavy to hold up, falling forward. And his hand was at its back again, pushing it to his mouth.
“Hmm?” He whispered on the skin of her forehead.
37. Hmm…
“Hmm.” Amaal turned her face away, trying to wipe her eyes on her shoulder. A part of her wanted to say no, not ready yet. A part of her wanted to say no just out of spite. A part of her wanted to push him away because of his history. But another part knew that if she said no now, there was no coming back. Neither would she return, nor would he ask again.
Her gut was kicking her to not let him go. There was something here, something stronger than ever, even with everything that had passed.
She sniffed, pulling her arms from where they were trapped under his. And he let her go. His hands trailed down her shoulders, down her arms and off her fingers. And the lingering memory of that touch sent electric sparks through her nerves. Amaal found her hands free and wiped her face with them, scrubbing until it hurt, buying time before she had to meet his eyes.
She had known Samar Dixit for half a decade. And now, she didn’t know how to look at him.
“Amaal.”
“Hmm?” She thumbed her mascara-coated eyelashes and gave him a haughty look. The unyielding expression on his face broke into a smile. A tender smile. She had never seen him like that.
He pushed his hands into his pockets and took a step back, his eyes going to her mouth once before coming back up.
“What,Amaal?” She yelled.
His smile deepened. The crease on his cheekbone appeared. His stubbled jaw stretched with laugh lines creasing it. How had she never noticed them? Or had he never smiled like this?
“What are you laughing at?”
“I am not laughing.”
“You never look like this. It’s getting creepy,” she lied. It was the most beautiful expression she had ever seen. Not just on his face, on any face.
