“My militia kidnapped Adil.”
“You can’t be seriou…”
“He was not in an accident,” Samar said what Amaal had suspected then. But like always, some things were never asked in this founders’ circle. She had assumed this was one of them.
“I found out that Atharva and Adil were tampering with tapes that could incriminate Aamir Haider. I put men behind him. They were supposed to just take the tapes but they took him too…”
“Did you do that to him…? He was…”
He shook his head.
“Then?”
Samar exhaled. “It happened while he was trying to escape.”
“And what did you do? Let it happen?!”
“I wasn’t even there!” He barked back. She glared. And he relaxed. “I wasn’t there.”
“Do I even know you?”
“I didn’t want to kidnap Adil, Amaal. But he recognised them and then there was drown or cross over. Every day he was there I kept apprised of him, I kept on top of his health, I made sure he was taken care of. Is it sick? Yes it is! But you don’t know what equations we share and what he did before this happened, so before you question if you even know me, think, do you even know him or Atharva or anyone else for that matter?” Samar panted. “People lie through their teeth, people you trust, people you rely on, people whose hands you put your lives in. Adil and I sorted this out and I don’t want to revisit those weeks when I was pushing, pleading, begging them to tell me what was going on. They knew what this meant for me, and yet they went at it. So that they could bury it if it came to it. Aamir Haider was just another criminal to them. He was Sia’s murderer to me and onlyme.”
He came up for breath, staring at her. She couldn’t take that torment in his eyes. She hated that she was angry at him, and still understood where he came from. She hated that he was wrong, and yet she wanted to listen to him.
Amaal turned her eyes away. And let the room breathe. Again, everything went silent. This time she did not count minutes, or look at him. He sat, too, without saying anything.
“Iram and Adil,” she finally voiced. “Anyone else?”
He did not respond, meaningthe end. She had seen enough of him to know which silence meant ‘no comment’ and which silence meant ‘the end.’ Amaal hated that she understood that too.
“I have many sins to my name and many more regrets.” He put his specs back on. “These live at the fore of my eyes every day. You were right, there is no justification.”
“Did you apologise to Adil?”
He looked at her. Which meant he had.
“And yet you do nothing to behave with Iram.”
His mouth pressed together. He opened it, then snapped it shut. Then opened it again.
“I am guilty of what happened to her,” he said. “But I am also unable to force myself to pretend I like her. I have never been able to pretend.”
“Does Atharva know this?”
“What?”
“That you regret it?”
“It doesn’t change anything. And I understand him. If it were you, even I wo…”
The air stilled inside the room. Her breath stilled with it. There was no oxygen anymore.
Samar rose to his feet. “You have a long night, I have to finish candidate feedback forms with Zafarji.”
“Yes.” She got up too.
“Bye.”
