“You give yourself too much credit if you think it’s you.”
If not him, then what was it?He could help her with anything other than himself.
“What is it?”
“This timeIam telling you to not push it.”
“What’s the problem, Amaal?”
“Me!”
Samar stilled.
“I am the problem. I am sorry for what happened that night. You have made your boundaries clear, not once but twice. I am unable to stay on my side. This is destroying whatever normalcy there was between us.”
Samar remained silent, absorbing those punches and hating that they were falling on her just as badly.
“I am…” she scoffed. “It’s gone beyond just liking…”
He opened his mouth, but she cut him off — “And before you blame my age again, I am not asking for your validation.”
Samar shut his mouth.
Seconds ticked.
“You won’t be travelling with me,” he managed. “Your place was with the primary convoy and Atharva.”
“I know.”
“Why aren’t you coming then?” He gritted.
“You know why.”
“No I don’t know why!” Samar found himself raging. For what, he didn't know. But he couldn’t accept that she was stepping back from her work, from what she loved because of him.
“You would never be able to know, Samar.” Her voice went low, watery, when he had expected her to snarl back.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“That’s what. You don’t know what I am talking about and I cannot bear to talk and not have you understand…”
“Please, Amaal, don’t, ok? Stop.”
“Don’t worry, I am not confessing or forcing you to respond. I know you have loved once.”
Love? That was love? How could it be?SiaChaturvedi was the only woman he had ever cared about, thought about. And now she was gone.
“Then you should know that I will not be able to do that again,” Samar retorted, hoping to make her snap out.Register it, accept it, move on. Get back to normal!
Her eyes, the cerulean blue sparkling eyes, began to shimmer. He looked away.
“I thought you were coming, Amaal, I just…”
“No, I am not. I should learn to live away from you…” her voice went low.“… If I come, then this trip will make it difficult to learn that.”
“Who will handle the media?”
“Fahad is more than capable of handling them.” Her voice hardened. “I will be working from here and as it is, someone needs to operate from home ground.”
