I look out the window a moment, thinking about her words and trying to process everything that’s happened in such a short amount of time. I turn back to her. “You and Zane bonded, right?” She nods, watching me intently. “How did you know you were ready?”
She laughs. “I didn’t. I actually accepted the bond between us first. I didn’t even know I had, but I felt this huge rush of emotion. It was everywhere all at once. I felt Zane’s love for me, but I also felt his protectiveness, his need to make sure I’m safe, his admiration of me.” She laughs lightly. “I’m the first to admit it was way too much; I basically shut down.”
I frown at that. “That sounds terrible.”
“It was overwhelming for sure, but his dad helped me through it.”
“What did he do?”
“He cut off the flow of emotion so I couldn’t feel it anymore. He did that just until I could handle it again, and Zane learned to tone it back just a little.” She smiles fondly at that.
“So, then you were bonded?” I ask, trying to put the pieces together.
“I accepted the bond that was already growing between us and connecting us. They call it completing or finalizing the bond when he bites you. That was a little intense.”
“Did it hurt?”
She pauses a moment. “It did but only for a moment. He sort of licked it.”
“What?”
She laughs. “I know it sounds super weird, but it isn’t. They have healing properties in their saliva that helps heal the bite. It also totally knocked me out because it makes you really sleepy.” She sighs. “But it was really good. Once we completed the bond, we could hear each other’s voice in our heads. It’s really good. I’m not trying to talk you into something you’re not ready for, Tess. I’m just sharing my experience. I trusted Zane with my heart, and I was ready to go all in with him. And I haven’t regretted that decision once.”
My heart tugs. “You and Zane were meant for each other, Evie. It’s so obvious.”
“He means the world to me. I honestly didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.” Her words touch me deeply, and I realize that’s what I want with Slater. I want a future with him. I want to be the one he turns to after a good game to celebrate with or after a bad game to just be there for him. I want to listen to his dreams and soothe his heartbreaks. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel confident about myself. I feel like I’ve changed just in the time I’ve known him. “What are you thinking?”
I look at my best friend. “My mom told me that it took her just a few weeks to know my stepdad was the one for her. I asked her once how she knew, and she said she just did. She said she knew my stepdad was the kind of man that would stay faithfulfor a lifetime, the opposite of my real dad. So, when he asked her to marry him just a few weeks later, she said yes. All her friends said she was crazy, but she went for it.”
“Are they still together?” Evie asks.
I smile. “Eighteen years next summer.”
“That’s really awesome, Tessa.”
“I know.” I know Evie lives with her mom and her uncle, and I know that I am incredibly blessed to have my mom and stepdad.
“Why do you think this is the real thing with Slater, or do you even think that?”
I look out the window again, and those same thoughts come back again. “I feel safe with him. I also feel like I can be myself with him, like I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to try to be non-emotional or have my act together, because Heaven knows neither of those things is true about me.” I smile as I say the next words. “He makes me laugh.”
“Slate?” Evie asks incredulously.
I laugh. “Yeah. And I love going toe to toe with him. He’s so fun to mess with. He’s also the most incredibly thoughtful person I have ever met. He's always finding ways to do things for me or to simply make my life easier...like when he lets me borrow his truck or lets me take a nap in his room when my dorm room is too loud. He’s also respectful with me; he never pushes me too far on anything really. I think he just makes my life better by being in it, and I can’t imagine how I would feel if he were no longer in my life and holy moly I think I’m falling for this guy.” My words at the end all jumble together, and then the next few words sort of slip out. “I think I might love him.” My emotions seem to grow and grow, and I feel something happen. It feels like something snaps in my chest. Suddenly, I’m flooded with strong emotion. I feel this overwhelming sense of being loved and accepted, but it’s followed quickly by a feeling of safety but also fierce protectiveness and almost...ruthlessness.The feelings are not gentle, and they hit me like shards. I feel like I’m being dragged through a rip current, and I can’t catch my breath. I’m aware that Evie calls my name, but I can’t seem to answer her. The intensity grows, and I feel like my heartbeat is thundering in my chest. Frustration, irritation, and anger burn through me; but I don’t know why. I feel like I want to hit something, and the violent feelings feel so intense. But they also make me feel like I want to throw up. I feel like I’m going to drown in the intensity of it all.
“Tessa.” I hear a deep voice, and I try to focus on it. “Tessa, I’m going to help you through this okay?” I hear Zane’s voice, but I can’t focus on his words. Suddenly, the emotions in my chest die down. I take a breath and then another. “Take another deep breath for me.” I do as I’m told, and I feel my heartrate start to slow down. When I finally feel reality returning, I lift my head. Evie’s staring at me with wide eyes full of concern, and Zane’s eyes are doing that glowy thing, letting me know his wolf is present.
“What’s going on?” I finally get out, still feeling so out of sorts. Evie looks at Zane hesitantly, but I’m already piecing it all together. I lock eyes with her. “It’s the same thing you went through with Zane, isn’t it?”
She keeps her voice gentle. “It’s rough, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I rasp out.
I turn to Zane, whose eyes are still bright. “Did you use your power to tone it back?”
“Yeah.” His voice is much deeper than it normally is. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice isn’t as strong as I want it to be. “So, what exactly does that mean?”
