As badly as I want to hold on to her forever, shield her from any harm that could come to her, I recognize her need for space, and I’ll give her that.
Let me be clear. I’ll never let her go, never allow her to run from me. But I’ll give her anything else her heart desires for the rest of her life.
I try for a second time to place her on the mattress, but her grip on me tightens, and my chest clenches at the movement.
She’s telling me without words that she needs me. That I’m her safe place.
I cross to the same chair I sat in last night and drop into it, rearranging her as best I can with the death grip she has on me.
“I’ve got you, baby,” I murmur.
Once Asher gets home, we have some decisions to make.
Do we take out Jeffrey Malone once and for all? Consequences be damned?
Or do we take Hannah far away, where his influence means nothing?
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
HANNAH
For a long time, fear was a living, breathing thing inside me.
It ate at my confidence, my hopes and dreams, leaving behind the shell of myself.
I was everything I was expected to be. The perfect lady. Polite to a fault. Obedient.
Of course that last one was arguably the most important, and the day Rowan Cane came into my life, he gave me permission to reclaim the parts of myself I had lost.
He lived unapologetically, and I aspired to have that kind of freedom. I strived for it.
And little by little, that fear that used to live inside me began to fade.
So why did tonight spook me so much?
Why am I clinging to Rowan like he’s the lifeline stopping me from drowning?
Perhaps it’s because I’ve allowed myself to fall for not only him, but Asher as well, and it could all be taken from me in the blink of an eye.
Or maybe it’s because I’ve deluded myself all these years to think my responsibility to my family ended the day I started making my own way in the world. When I chose scholarshipsand struggled through college over the trust fund that was dangled in front of me. When I disgraced the Malone name by quitting the job I was only hired for because of my connections.
I’ve spent the last five years forging my own path, and tonight reminded me how quickly it could all be taken away.
I bury my face into Rowan’s chest, reveling in his steady warmth.
I used to long for this kind of connection, long to be loved, and now I know what it feels like, I won’t survive losing it.
I won’t survive losing them.
“Tell me how to help you, baby. Tell me what you need.” The plea in his words pauses my racing thoughts, because it’s not like Rowan to be unsure. Ever since the first day we met, he had an untouchable air around him, like nothing on this earth could shake him. But I do. I shake him. His feelings toward me, his need to protect me—it’s his weakness. His kryptonite. And that’s as thrilling as it is terrifying.
There’s only one thing that will pull me from my thoughts, but no matter how hard I try to ask for it, I can’t find the words.
The Hannah of the past wouldn’t have been able to ask for what she needed. She’d have been too scared of judgment and would suffer in silence to avoid it.
But I don’t want to be her anymore.
I want to be the woman Rowan and Asher see when they look at me.
