So why can’t I sleep?
It could have something to do with the fact that my stepfather and stepbrother just admitted to wanting me from the first time they saw me, keeping an eye on me all these years, and doing some things that border on stalking.
Or maybe it’s the fact that Rowan is a criminal.
And if it’s none of that, it’s probably that my grandfather set me up on a date with a misogynist piece of shit, and my wrist still throbs from how hard he held me.
I thought once the adrenaline dropped, I would be struggling to keep my eyes open, but that’s certainly not the case.
I wish it was.
My mind is a jumbled mess of contradictions.
The crush I had on Rowan when I was younger, mixed with how hard I fell for Asher when we met, battles with the fact that they’ve lied to me over and over again.
They tricked me into sleeping with Rowan that night at the Scarlet Lounge, but every time I think about that, all I can focus on is how they worshipped me. They gave me everything I needed and more. I can say they deceived me all I want, but if it were truly deception, why would they bother putting all their focus on me?
I agreed to let Asher share me with a stranger. Those were the terms. I didn’t ask for his identity until afterward, and only because I felt something for him.
If I’d felt nothing and it truly were a stranger, I probably would have just marked it off the bucket list and moved on.
Sighing, I sit up and look around the room blanketed in darkness.
It makes sense why this space looks like it jumped straight off my mood board, because it probably did.
Rowan and Asher made this space for me. They knew eventually they would bring me here, and they wanted me to have somewhere I felt comfortable.
Just another time they’ve given me what I didn’t even know I needed.
They’re so in tune with my wants and needs.
But they lied to me,I remind myself.
No matter how I try to spin it in my own mind, they did lie to me. They did trick me, and I don’t know if I can get past that.
I consider my options for another few seconds before slipping from between the sheets. I won’t be able to think clearly until I’ve separated myself from the situation.
I quickly change into a pair of sweats and tug on an oversized sweater I stole from Asher when we first started dating. Okay,maybe it’s a stretch to call it oversized because it falls to my knees and swamps my entire body.
The clock beside the bed tells me it’s four in the morning, meaning I should be able to slip out without anyone noticing.
I finish packing my belongings, throw the bag over my shoulder, and quietly tug the door open.
Once I’m certain the hallway is clear, I head down the steps toward the front door, checking each corner before I pass it just in case they’re lurking in the darkness.
I wouldn’t put it past them at this point.
Reaching for the front door, my stomach rolls at the sight of the keypad.
Maybe I should have assumed they’d have some kind of high-tech bullshit on the doors. Why can’t they just have a deadbolt like normal people?
“Going somewhere, Hannah?” Rowan’s voice startles me, tearing a small scream from my throat.
I whip around, the bag falling off my shoulder and hitting the hardwood floor with a loud thump. “You scared me,” I whisper into the darkness.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
He stands at the base of the stairs, wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants that hang low on his hips. So low I can see the impressive lines of his abdomen, even in the dull light. His chest is dusted with hair, and while body hair has never been a turn-on for me, it is when Rowan’s involved.
