I took a deep breath, doing my best to straighten myself up so I could play it off as if I had lost my balance because of a muscle cramp and that it was nothing serious. I’d been doing it for months, hiding pain, making the weakness look like fatigue,surviving on over-the-counter pain medication. Only this time, I couldn’t pretend. My shoulder wouldn’t respond, and every time I went to lift my arm, the pain was so intense my knees nearly buckled.
“Callahan!” Keller called, skating over to me, coming to a fast stop. “Are you good?”
“Fine…” I muttered, trying to focus on him while I barely recognized my voice because it was so strained.
“Like hell you’re fine,” he said, grabbing my other arm, steadying me. “You’re white as a sheet, man. What happened?”
Nightly came rushing over, coming to a stop. “All good?” he asked, concern lining his voice as he looked at Keller.
I saw Keller whisper something to Nightly as our other teammates circled, their concern overlapping. I could feel the walls closing in, the attention, all these eyes watching what I could no longer hide. This was a nightmare.
Coach Alan’s voice rang out, sharp, and commanding, as he called to Bianca. I looked up, just in time for our eyes to meet. She’d avoided me all day, just like I’d figured, but now she was already moving, grabbing her medical kit, her expression shifting from concern to that professional space.
“Get him to the medical room now,” Coach Alan commanded as Bianca stepped forward.
“Cromwell, help Bianca get Callahan?—”
Bianca cleared her throat. “It’s okay, I got him,” she said, professional and composed.
My stomach dropped as I looked at Bianca. Even though she looked like she had everything under control, her eyes told a different story. They were dark, concern mixed with worry and fear.
“Come on, let’s you get you looked at,” she said calmly, but loud enough that her father would hear her. “Let me help you,” she whispered to me.
I wanted to refuse and believe that if I just went back out on the ice, I’d be able to shake it off, but my legs were shaking because the pain was so intense and I could barely think straight.
“Okay,” I muttered.
Bianca slipped her arm around my lower back.
“Use me as a crutch,” she said.
“I’ll crush you,” I muttered, wincing as another shot of pain ran through my arm.
“I’ve got him,” Cromwell announced, coming up beside us.
“Thanks, just don’t touch the right arm,” Bianca bit out, allowing Cromwell to help.
Together they moved me toward the gate. I could hear the murmurs from some of my teammates who had been watching me favor my shoulder for weeks; a couple of them had even seen me ice it after practice, not one of them saying a word. As we walked down the chute, I couldn’t help but notice the concerned glances from fans in the stands.
“Where do you want to take him?” Cromwell asked.
“Medical room off the locker room,” Bianca said, not wavering.
Once inside, Cromwell helped me to the table and then hovered in the doorway, uncertain if he should leave or not, while Bianca started pulling items from her bag.
“Thanks, I have him,” she said. “You should get back to the game. Team needs you. Tell Coach we will be out as soon as we’re done and go get them.”
Cromwell nodded. “Hope you’re alright, man,” he said, backing out of the room as Bianca shut the door.
I sat on the exam table while Bianca removed my skates, then ran to my locker, grabbed my shoes for me, and then grabbed her phone.
My senses were heightened, the overhead lights buzzing and bright. Right now, in this room, I had nowhere to hide. I wasbehind a closed door where I no longer had to perform for the crowds, or my teammates, or convince the coaches I was fine.
“What are you doing?” I questioned, wincing from the pain.
“I’m calling an ambulance. We need to get this looked at now.”
Bianca pulled supplies from her bag and the cabinet that was over in the corner, setting up some ice packs, while she fiddled with her phone. I could also see the tension in her shoulders, and the way her hands slightly trembled as she opened packages of bandages, a look I’d never seen on her face before.
