“Let me see,” she whispered.
I exhaled, my breath slow and shaky as I pulled the shirt over my head. I heard Bianca’s breath catch, and I looked up to meet her eyes. She’d seen me shirtless countless times, but she’d never looked at me like this. When she noticed I was watching her, she looked away.
“Is it bad?”
“Let me look.”
She brought her fingers up and tenderly brushed them against my shoulder, clinical, professional, the exact opposite of how I wanted her to touch me.
“It’s lightly bruised. How long has it been this bad?” she asked quietly.
I looked down at the floor. “Days, maybe longer,” I said, not really remembering as I stared at the floor, trying to focus on anything but the pain.
“Evan…” Her voice cracked. “You could have permanent damage.”
“I know.” God, the words tasted like poison. “If I told anyone, then I’d be benched, and if I’m benched…”
If I were benched, I was nothing, because I was nothing without hockey.
Bianca walked over to the desk and cracked one of the cold packs, quickly mixing the contents before she moved back over to me and pressed the pack to my shoulder, her other hand steadying my arm, giving it support. The cold bit into my skin, but I barely felt it because of the pain. She stood right beside me, mere inches away, her breath brushing against my cheek, hereyes focused on me with such an intensity that it made my pulse stutter.
“I swore I’d never allow anyone to see me like this.”
“I know you think this makes you weak, but it doesn’t. It makes you human. I’ve spent my entire life pretending I need nothing from anyone, and it only made me feel one thing—alone,” she admitted, holding my arm against her as she continued to hold the ice pack in place.
“Bianca…” I whispered.
I realized we were both the same, behind the same wall, fighting the same losing battle.
As we sat there in the dimly lit room together, I was sure I saw her gaze flicker to my lips for a moment. It was so quick, I thought maybe I’d imagined it, but I hadn’t; it was there.
I leaned in, like a moth drawn to a flame, close enough to touch, and our lips almost brushed. Every muscle in my body was tense as I held myself back.
Bianca looked at me, biting her bottom lip, waiting for me to lean in.
“I shouldn’t,” I murmured.
“Why?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Because if I start, I will not stop. I think it’s best that I go...”
She carefully lowered my arm and, while still holding the ice pack to my shoulder, she stepped in front of me, pushing her bare legs between mine.
“I understand, but I don’t think you should be alone. Please stay.”
“What? Why?” I asked, looking up at her.
“I want you to stay. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, just for tonight. I don’t want you to run from me, to run from being seen. Please, stay.”
I swallowed hard as I looked up into her soft gaze. She placed her hand on the side of my cheek, resting it there as she looked into my eyes.
I didn’t trust my voice to speak, but instead of fighting her, I finally let my guard down. She stepped back enough to allow me to bring my legs around and up onto the bed, where I lay back against her pillow. She adjusted the pillows, making sure I was comfortable before she left the room, returning with the hot bag, two pain pills, and some water. She gave me the pain pills which I shoved into my mouth, then drank the water. She placed the glass on the nightstand and then moved around to the opposite side of the bed, crawling in beside me. From there she switched out the ice pack for the heat.
I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was from carrying all of this. I lay there, letting the heat sink into my shoulder and the pain pills work while looking into her eyes as she lay beside me. I had nothing left in me tonight, so I had to allow her to take care of me, and that terrified me.
The hours that followed were far more intimate than anything physical could ever be. We just lay there in silence, looking at one another, unspoken words floating between us. As I finally drifted off to sleep, for the first time in my entire life, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted this to stop between us.
Chapter 10
