Which only makes me more certain something is going to happen today…
Adding this second tower is the final step in finishing off the Hawke Hotel and the first in building what will hopefully be our empire of them across the Gulf Coast—maybe beyond it.
A direct competitor of the man who seems to have his foot on our throats.
It’s the ideal time for him to remind us of that fact.
My stomach churns as I pace and continue to search the crowd from my raised position, looking for signs of anything amiss, while the rest of our security team does the same. Stationed at each entrance, mingling with everyone gathered to celebrate with us, watching our backs when we’ll be busy smiling for the cameras.
Even with literally dozens and dozens of skilled guards scouring every inch of the place, it still feels like we’re missing something.
Dad’s gaze follows me as I pass him where he stands next to Mom on the dais. “You can stop.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
He grabs my arm and pulls me beside him, dipping his head to whisper in my ear. “I’ve been doing this job for longer than you’ve been alive, Bishop, and I’ll tell you one thing—it’ll eat you alive if you let it.”
“I’m fine, Dad.”
“No”—he shakes his head—“you’re not.” A long sigh slips from his lips, filled with parental love and frustration. “And you haven’t been for a while. You’re not the only one who feels like they failed.”
My back stiffens as I glance at him, finally drawing my eyes away from the sea of people for the first time since they started arriving.
He holds my gaze. “After what happened to Ben and Storm, you don’t think I felt like a failure?”
The mere mention of the tragedy that shook the Hawkes so intensely over thirty years ago intensifies the pain I carry for the man I never even met. Echoes of the agony the people I love so much suffered then still reverberate today. Apparently more than I realized because looking into Dad’s dark eyes, I can see his distress even now.
“With everything that’s happened the last couple of years on top of that…” Shaking his head, his eagle-sharp gaze sweeps over the crowd briefly before returning to me, as if even while trying to lecture me, he can’t turn off his instincts either. “I get it. I really do, Bishop. But I don’t want you to turn into me.”
“What do you mean?”
He’s one of the best human beings I know.
An incredible father, husband, friend, and protector of everyone he loves.
He’s everything I strive to be.
“Don’t let this be your whole life, sweetheart.” He sweeps a large hand out toward the lobby. “I have your mother to keep me…grounded. To prevent me from over-analyzing everything and falling into some deep, dark hole of guilt every time something doesn’t go the way it’s supposed to. Every time I feel like I’ve failed, your mom reminds me of why I fell in love with her by refusing to let me fall prey to that need to punish myself. What do you have? Who do you have?”
I scowl at him, but he’s right.
Nothing.
No one.
Those are the answers to his questions.
No amount of time spent in the ring with Atlas, tied up on the Jiu-jitsu mat, or out on the range firing off rounds can do for me what Mom does for him. She does ground him. She is his lifeline in a sea of uncertainty. And lately it’s felt like I’m floating around aimlessly, unable to grasp onto anything that will help me feel like I’m not drowning in my failures.
It’s my duty to protect these people. Not just because it’s my job, but because I love them. Any injury to them is like a blow to me directly.
And it’s been so long since I’ve done anything for me, since I’ve been able to actually relax and enjoy myself without wondering what I am forgetting or who might be in danger if I take one second to think about myself that I can’t even remember when it was.
“After we get this Satriano stuff sorted out, I’ll take a vacation, Dad. Go back to Jamaica and see everyone there, or something like that. Until then…”
Leave it alone.
That last part goes unsaid because I would never want him to think I don’t appreciate his concern for my well-being, but I can’t be worrying about him worrying if I need to unravel Satriano’s sinister plans before he strikes again.
