He tilts his head. “No? You don’t want to do this?”
“No, no.” His brows draw inward. “I mean, yes! I want to do this.” I laugh. “I meant, no condom.” His shoulders drop in relief. “I want to feel you, Callum. Every bare inch.”
He swallows once, then twice. Then he’s moving so fast I can’t help but laugh.
“Shut up and take your bra off,” he tells me as he shoves his pants down his legs.
When he fits himself back between my legs, he’s bare, and so am I. He doesn’t take his eyes off me as he drags the tip of his cock against my soaking core, nor when he presses just the tip of himself inside me. He pauses, waiting for me to change my mind, but I don’t. I was never going to. I’ve been looking forward to this for far too long to do so.
He inches in even more, going slow, giving me time to adjust to his size until he’s completely bottomed out and there’s nothing else to give. We stay like that for a long minute or two, Callum just resting inside me, not moving, and I appreciate it as much as I hate it.
Then he’s moving, and I don’t hate it at all. I tug him down to me, needing to feel his lips on mine, and he comes willingly, slipping his tongue into my mouth and kissing me the same way he’s fucking me—slowly.
He was right—it is different, but it’s not a bad kind. Even when we were struggling and things felt tense between us, we still had a healthy sex life. But this? It’s nothing like it was before. It’s unhurried and tender, almost like our first time all over again. I think back to that night and how Callum told me he loved me for the first time, and how I couldn’t say it back. Not yet, anyway. I felt it, though. With every touch and stroke and kiss, I felt it, just like I feel it now.
Tears prick my eyes, and I’m glad we’re kissing because I don’t want him to see me crying. He’ll panic and think it’s bad,but it’s not. It’s good. Really, really good, and so is this moment. I don’t want to ruin it.
He rocks into me with a measured pace, yet my body doesn’t get the memo. It races right back to the brink of release and teeters there until he’s shaking because he’s holding back so much.
“Callum…” I say, tearing my mouth from his, and just like before, he understands what I’m after.
He pushes onto his knees, his hands on my thighs as he picks up his pace. He sets his hand on top of my pubic mound, his thumb reaching down toward my clit while his palm presses into just the right spot. I don’t know where he learned the trick, and I never asked, but it does what he intends, bringing me moments away from coming all over again.
“You’re close, aren’t you, Clover?”
I nod, barely able to keep my eyes open.
“Ah, ah,” he says. “Look at me. You asked for this, now look at me.”
I do.
“I’m going to let go now, okay? I’ve been trying to hold back, but I can’t. Not anymore. It’s going to be hard and fast, and I can’t promise it won’t hurt, but I’ll make it up to you later. Deal?”
I nod again.
“Say it.”
“Deal.”
He holds true to his promise, and he fucks me, completely unrestrained. He thrusts into me hard, and there’s no real finesse, but I don’t need it. He’s barely three pumps in before I’m coming apart around him in a way I never have before. It’s like every stifled orgasm I gave myself in the last three years times a million. I’m officially spent. Wrung out. Totally done for.
Callum’s orgasm isn’t long behind, and he comes with a roar of my name and a sigh on his lips. He collapses on top of me, andI welcome the heavy weight of him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close. So many emotions whirl inside me—bliss, sadness, confusion, and anger. They’re all there, so many of them pointed at different things. But there’s one that’s the loudest, and it’s also the simplest—love.
While I’ve always loved Callum, I think I just fellinlove with him all over again, and I have no fucking idea how to handle it. What does this mean for us? What does it mean for our future?Myfuture? Am I ready to be an us again? Am I ready to go back to how things were? Can we? And if we do, what’s to say it won’t lead us right back down this very same road?
I don’t know, and I’m too tired to think about it now, so I don’t. I push it aside, burying it just like I’ve been burying it for the last three years.
Just when I think he’s fallen asleep, Callum stirs, pulling back and giving me a lazy smile.
“We still got it, Clover.”
A loud laugh bubbles out of me, and it’s just the icebreaker I need to rid myself of all the worry that’s brewing inside me.
“We still got it,” I agree.
He rolls off me, then waves his hand toward the bathroom as if to sayLadies first.I take advantage of his chivalry and shimmy out of bed to race over. I take care of business, then wash my hands, and I’m stunned at what I see in the mirror. I’m a complete wreck. My red hair is messier than ever before, and I’m flushed everywhere I can see. There are a few bite and kiss marks along my breasts and neck that I pray don’t leave a mark tomorrow. But the biggest change of them all? My eyes.
I lean closer to get a better look, taking in how bright and clear my usually dull brown eyes look. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I was wearing contacts, but since the evidence of what just happened is all over me, it’s definitely not that.
