Her lips rise just slightly at my nickname for her, and it’s enough for me for right now.
“Does this…” Another trembling breath. “Do these dreams happen often?”
“Yes.” Even though she looks like she’s about to cry at my answer, I don’t try to change it. “And sometimes it’s not just when I’m dreaming. I…” I run a hand through my hair. “I’ve had a few panic attacks too.”
She closes her eyes, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth so tightly they lose their usual blush color and turn white. I pluck it free, and a lone tear falls as she looks at me again.
“I haven’t handled them alone. Stefan’s helped me.”
She nods, her chin wobbling. “I’m glad he was there…and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
“I know,” I repeat. “But there’s nothing we can do about it now. So no more tears, all right?”
Another nod, and I tug her to me again just because I want to. Because Ineedto. We sit like that for a long time, so long I fear she’s fallen asleep again.
“Hey,” I say, and she stirs. Her face is red and splotchy, her eyes still glossy as she peers down at me. “It’s late. We should probably get some sleep. Road trip starts tomorrow, remember?”
“Right.” She pushes off my lap, and I miss her heat the second she slips away and stands. “I should go.”
“Go? What? No. It’s”—I grab my phone from the table and check the time, ignoring the waiting text—“damn near three o’clock in the morning. You’re not going anywhere.”
“But I?—”
I shake my head. “No. No buts. You’re staying.”
She wants to argue but thinks better of it. “All right,” she concedes. “I’ll take the couch.”
I give her a look that saysBe so fucking for realjust before I swoop her up into my arms.
“Callum!”
She protests, trying to wiggle free, but I ignore her.
She blows out a puff of air. “I think you somehow managed to get even more annoying while I was away.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t have left, huh?”
She gasps, shocked as hell that I just said that, and honestly, I’m shocked too. It’s the most raw and honest thing I’ve said to her since she got back. But maybe that’s just what we need—to be brutally truthful with each other.
Once the shock wears off, a laugh bubbles out of her, then another and another until she’s giggling uncontrollably. It makes me laugh, too.
“You’re ridiculous,” I say as I carry her into my bedroom, glad I left my bedside lamp on before I left. I drop her onto the bed ungracefully before going to the dresser.
“Here.” I pull out a t-shirt and chuck it at her. “You can sleep in this.”
True to her unathletic skills, she misses it, and it lands right on her face. She giggles as she peels it away, and even though it’s been a heavy night, it’s still my favorite sound in the world.
“Am I allowed to use the bathroom on my own, or are you going to carry me in there too?”
I move like I’m about to do just that, but she darts off the bed, locking herself in my en suite. The second she’s gone, the smile fades from my lips, and I scrub my hand over my face.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself as I sit on the edge of the bed, exhaustion setting in. From the game, the last few days, the dream…everything.
I’m tired down to my bones in a way I haven’t been since before Chloe left, back when things between us felt…off. I could never put my finger on what it was, but I knew we weren’t one hundred percent. I didn’t think it would lead to what it did, but I guess all the signs were there. I just never thought to look at them.
I press my fingers around the bruise on my knee, checking it out. It hurts like a son of a bitch, but it’s nothing I haven’t been through before. I’m sure it’s going to suck for a few days, especially being on the road, but I’ll pull through. Speaking of going on the road…
I pull my phone from my pocket and check the text from earlier.
