How could this even work out? Would we just go long distance, then pick back up when she returns? And then what happens? Does she leave again? Does she pursue writing? Will she be happy? And if Idoget traded? Then what?
She pauses, her brows furrowed. “Yeah. Did I not mention that?”
I scoff. “No, Clover, you didn’t.”
I take a healthy drink of my beer. It’s not nearly strong enough for this conversation, but I’m not about to go back inside before I find out more about how my wife is going to fucking London without me.
“Oh, well. I’m sorry but…” She wrings her hands. She’s nervous telling me this, and I hate that she is. “Yes, it’s in London.”
“And I’m guessing it’s for three months? That’s why you said that about not being able to work in a lab for that long, right?”
“Yes.”
Fuck!The single word rings in my head, and I know it’s unfair the moment it does. I have no room to be upset right now.Of courseshe wants to go do something for herself, and she should. She’s followed me around for years now, bouncing from city to city every time I get traded. She’s put up with canceled plans due to injuries and adjusted schedules because of obligations.
Shedeservesthis. I just wish she had told me about it before now.
“Well, that’s amazing. I’m happy for you.”
“You said that already.” She purses her lips. “Look, if you don’t want me to do it, I won’t. I know it’ll suck being apart, but it’s only for three months. We can do that.”
But…can we? I’ve felt her slipping through my fingers for a while now, way longer than three months, and I’ve done nothing but hold on tight. Maybe it wastootight, though. Maybe…maybe she needs to do this, and maybe I need to let her.
“I want you to do it,” I tell her, and she relaxes instantly, which doesn’t make me feel any better. Did she really think I wouldn’t support her? Wouldn’t sacrifice for her like she’s done for me so many times before? Is that how she views our relationship?
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Come here.”
I pull her to me, holding her close, and it’s not just for her. It’s for me too. I need it. I need this. I needher.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I was just…nervous. But I’m excited now. It’s a really amazing program, and I swear I’m not going to go over there and squander this chance I’m getting.”
I don’t care if she goes over there and tap-dances in the streets. I just want her to be happy, whatever that means.
“The three months will be up before we know it,” she says.
“Yeah, it’ll be like a blip in time. No big deal.”
Three months. Ninety days. I can do that. We can do it.
I’m certain of it.
Chloe has been gone for almost three months, and my life feels so fucking empty that not even hockey is filling the hole she left behind. I was traded to the Seattle Serpents a month and a half after she left, and I thought it might fix things, thought maybe it was just Chicago she hated and she would be elated to come back to a new city and we’d start fresh.
But considering we haven’t spoken in days, I’m not so sure that’s the case anymore.
“Clover? Are you there?”
“Hello? Callum?” She sighs when someone shouts something in the background. “Sorry, the pub is loud. Let me step outside a moment.”
A moment?I haven’t talked to her on the phone in three days, and she wants amomentwith me? I push down the anger that courses through me.
“Sorry,” she says again, and it’s much quieter now.
“It’s all good. I just wanted to check in with you. It feels like it’s been ages since we talked.”
“We’ve texted.”
