“No.” He paused. “You’re worse.”
“Worse?” I turned to him and raised a brow.
“Tucker, when you sit at the head of that table, you take on a different look.”
“What do you mean?”
“In recent months, I think I’ve let myself get too complacent with you. I started to think you were soft. Softer. Not as hard as I’d once known. Maybe that’s because of the way I see you act around Ayda and Tate. The way you’ve taken on a kid, and you’ve acted like a father. The way you’ve taken in my girls and vowed to protect them. The way you bend more, willing to do whatever they want you to do to keep everyone happy and, more importantly, safe.” Sutton exhaled slowly again, shaking his head. “But in that room, you were the Drew Tucker I’ve always known. The fighter. The man willing to kill or be killed in order to keep his club safe.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing…”
“Isn’t it?”
I looked back out over my men. The reaper and the hounds were staring back at me from every corner of the room. The smell of well-worn leather, grease, smoke, and whiskey filled the air. It wasn’t conventional by any means, but it was my fucking family. The sight of them all in front of me, safe, protected for now, was what kept my heart satedand my mind somewhat peaceful. The thought of losing any one of those men or them getting scratched by a rival MC took me back to that dark place—the place that saw me sitting in an isolated prison cell for just under five years. The place that saw me taking gang beatings just for something to do when the silence rang in my ears, or the memories of Pete’s brutal death became too strong. The place where I used to enjoy the taste of my own blood after a cellmate had smashed his fist across my jaw, just because that taste reminded me I was still made up of human parts.
“You know,” I spoke quietly. “I don’t expect the outside world to understand the love I have for these men and their families, Howard. It’s not conventional, and I guess that’s one of the things I love most about it. My parents are gone. I have no siblings. I have no blood ties. So let me tell you that without these men…” I nodded to my club. “I’d never have had a reason to live. They are my reason. They are my heart. They own my damaged soul. Just like your daughters own yours.” I tilted my head his way once more. “And not so many nights ago, you told me to bring the man who hurt your baby girl to you so you could make him pay.”
Sutton’s eyes narrowed, and he swallowed loudly as he stared at me.
“I love my men the way you love your girls. There’s no difference except one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t deny who I am the way you do.”
Sutton’s scowl deepened instantly, his back going rigid as he raised his chin and stayed silent.
“And whether you admit it or not, Chief…” I leaned in closer. “I’m the guy you want on your team when you need to make someone pay. The Drew Tucker you’ve always known, the fighter, the man willing to kill or be killed in order to keep those he respects safe… he’s the guy who’s going to help you face your fears, destroy your demons, and crush the fingers of the kid who dared to even breathe in Sloane’s direction. So if I were you, I wouldn’t be so quick to discount that guy. Believe me… you’re gonna want him on your side when the shit hits the fan.”
Sutton’s eyes searched mine wildly. “How the fuck has this become my life?” he asked in a whisper, forcing the slow smirk to creep on my face.
“You got lucky.” I slapped a hand on his shoulder and gave him a shake before I laughed and turned back to the others, just in time to see Ayda waltzing across the room, her eyes wide as she asked me a million questions with one look. “This is the one you should really be scared of, Sutton,” I muttered under my breath.
“Already am, Tucker. Hence the reason I ended up teaching her how to shoot.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s debatable.”
“Don’t start with this crap again,” he grumbled.
Ayda fluttered to a stop mere feet from me, her eyes moving between Sutton and I, before deciding that the coast was clear and closing the distance between us so her arm slid around me easily. “Everything go okay?”
“As tempting as it would be for me to lie to you and say yes, I’m not that stupid anymore.” I side-eyed Sutton who was shaking his head before he took off in the direction of the bar. “Fancy taking a walk with me, Hanagan?”
“Lead the way.” Keeping her arm around my waist, she stepped to the side, waiting for me to lead.
I grabbed her hand so I could pull her through the crowds of men and women who had gathered together. As we got closer to the door of The Hut, Jedd stepped in front of me on my right, Slater doing the same on my left.
“Sorry, Drew, but we’re under orders to let no man or woman out of this building,” Slater practically growled as he slapped a hand on my shoulder.
“Under any circumstances,” Jedd said in an equally low, hoarse voice. “By order of the pres.”
I glanced between the two of them. “Get out of my way, dicks.”
“No can do,” Slater said firmly.
“We don’t break protocol,” Jedd added.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Your president is giving you a new order. Remove your hands from his leather, or he will break your fingers quicker than either one of you can blink.” I smiled flatly and batted my eyes at the two of them.
