I pressed my lips together to stop myself from smiling.
Howard rolled his eyes. “I mean that you cut the shit out of every conversation. That wasn’t a compliment on your shooting skills.”
“Noted.”
“So…”
“Spit it out, Sutton, for fuck’s sake.”
He took a moment’s pause before he looked up at me through his knitted brows. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing by letting Sloane spend so much time here? In The Hut? Around you men. Outlaw men. Men who think differently to the rest of society.”
I widened my eyes. “You’re asking me for fatherly advice?”
“I guess so.”
“Shit.” I dropped a hand to my knee while the other scratched the back of my head awkwardly. “Shit.”
“That’s the stuff I wanted you to cut out of theconversation, Drew.”
“Right.” I flared my nostrils and looked up at him. “I’m no father. I struggle to advise Ayda on what to do with Tate. I struggle to keep Tate on the right tracks when my instincts sometimes tell me to take him to a strip bar, introduce him to some questionable soft drugs, and let him loose like my brothers did with me.”
“Not what I want to hear.” Sutton winced, dropping his head to his hand as he rested his arm on the bar.
“But…” I drew out. “All I can tell you is that while she’s here, she’s safe enough—probably safer than she is out there in the big, bad world. She enjoys being around Ayda, and their bond is special. She also loves Tate’s company.” I didn’t addand Kenny’s, by the looks of it.“My men will always protect her, as well as the twins, you—”
“I know all that,” he snapped quietly, cutting me off, rubbing the top of his head in frustration. “But she’s a girl. She’s my daughter, and I feel like she’s a thousand miles south of where she’s currently residing in her head. I’m scared she’s slipping away. I still see her skipping down the street, wearing pigtails, and singing songs about how much she loves her daddy. She’s still a four-year-old little princess to me, Tucker, and that’s wrong because the reality is that she’s a woman now. One who doesn’t have a mother figure to guide her down paths I can’t even see. All she’s got is me, and I’m—”
“A good man,” I reminded him. “With questionable facial hair and an awful as shit walk, yeah, but you’re a good man.”
Howard glanced up at me and shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I knew I should have gone to Ayda.”
“Probably.” I smirked, sighing quietly and slapping a hand on his shoulder. “But every day she asks me the samequestions you’re asking me now.Am I doing right by Tate? Are we all safe? What can I do to improve the kid’s life? How has all this shit been dumped on my fucking shoulders?And I tell her the same thing I’m going to tell you—the same thing my brothers always told me: because you can fucking handle it. Both the Lord and Lucifer only dish out what they know we can handle.”
Sutton swallowed the lump in his throat. Whether that was emotion, fear, or him trying to cover up the sarcasticfuck offthat was trying to break free, I didn’t know, but his eyes searched mine for any sign of a lie.
“I hate what Maisey did,” he eventually confessed.
“I do, too.”
“I have no right to still wish she was around.”
“But you miss that woman in Sloane’s life?”
“I do.”
“There’s always Ayda.”
“She’s just one woman, Drew. One woman who already has enough shit on her shoulders. She takes care of everyone in this place, including you.”
“That’s because she loves it. She may be one woman, but she’s one who never turns a person in need away. Don’t underestimate her. I’ve done that one too many times before and she’s had my balls in a vise for my troubles.”
“Now that I’d like to have seen.” Sutton huffed out a humorless laugh.
“Always thinking about my balls,” I joked through a sigh before I offered him a laugh in return. “Seriously, Chief. We’ve got her back. The other stuff… the teenage stuff… the hormones, the growing into a woman, the curiosity she’s no doubt feeling, well… we can’t do shit about that. Neither can you. All any of us can do is be there for her when she needs us.”
“I never thought I’d see the day when I would be grateful for a bunch of crooks keeping their eye on my baby girl.”
I shrugged a shoulder and looked around the club. “We ain’t all that bad.”
