He growled, closing his eyes. “Cancer. It’s everywhere. He’s…” Drew couldn’t finish his sentence. His whole body turned rigid as the anger he felt tore through him, making his shoulders, arms, back, legs, and head, shake with denial. “I can’t fucking do this.”
Terminal cancer.
Harry had terminal cancer and had just dropped that little bomb on Drew before throwing him out of the car and taking his place. He was sacrificing the days he had left to give Drew a chance and wasn’t that just like Harry Rogers. Selfless and looking out for the only son he’d ever had, or needed. He justhadn’t realized how much this would break Drew, too. How much it would shred his soul apart and leave him as broken as the alternative.
I didn’t know how to make any of it right. I wanted to fix the situation and make it better, but it felt like sand slipping through my fingers, and I had nothing to catch the grains with.
“I know you don’t want to do this. I know what Harry means to you. But youcando this. You can do this because I’m going to be right beside you every step of the way. I’ll give you everything you need until you can process it all, and I will still be there holding your hands.”
Drew slowly looked up, blinking away his emotion as his eyes met mine. “I’m not leaving him there to die, Ayda. I’m not. I… can’t. Won’t.”
I knew he had more to say, but words weren’t working for him, and neither was his body. No sooner had he looked at me, he looked away, dropping his head and pushing it against my chest with all the injustice he felt as he rocked forward and pressed himself to me.
“Help me,” he pleaded quietly. “Please, Ayda… help me.”
My fingers brushed his bruised skin gently, my thumb tracing the beard under his lip as I dug deep. I couldn’t deny him, but at the same time, I needed to play devil’s advocate for him.
“You wouldn’t be the man I loved if you just gave up on him.” I smiled sadly. “What exactly did Harry say to you? What did Harry want?”
“To die like a Hound. To die in there rather than fade away,” he said in one long breath before he pulled back, falling onto the heels of his feet, unable to hide the pain on his face. “To be a fucking martyr. To save me, you, us…”
I nodded, already assuming that would have been the path he’d have chosen to take. A man like Harry would want to keep his pride. If he could help the MC on the way out then all the better for it. I just knew Drew couldn’t accept that without a fight. I also understood that, which was exactly why I would stand beside any decision he made.
“We’re going to figure this out. Maybe you can even take a vote on it, visit Harry later and keep him in the loop and let him vote by proxy.”
The thought of Drew going to jail made my insides shrivel, but I was his old lady. Support was all part of my role in his life. I was pretty damn sure what the vote would be, anyway. Everyone loved Harry, but he was asking to go out for his club and the boy he’d always loved as his son.
“Right now, we need to get those cuffs off you and put some ice on that eye of yours so we can clear our heads.”
“How the hell am I going to tell my club?”
I wish I had a response for him. I wished that I could do the talking on his behalf, but we both knew how protocol worked in the MC, and I wasn’t even going to insult him by offering.
“It won’t be easy,” I admitted, stroking his face with my fingertips. “Maybe that’s why Harry needed you to be the one to do it for him.”
Drew’s eyes searched mine carefully. “What if he’s lying?” he whispered. “What if he isn’t dying and he just wants to save me?”
“He wouldn’t lie about cancer,” I said softly, my head drifting side to side in denial. “He’s always been the one to shoot straight with you. You’ve said it yourself.”
“I need to hit something,” he said through gritted teeth. “Ineed to get out of these cuffs and go…” Drew swallowed hard. “I need to do something. Anything.”
“Okay. We can do that. Jedd’s waiting on the porch. He’s giving us some time.” I smiled sadly up at Jedd and nodded, letting him know it was safe to approach.
“Ayda?”
My eyes dropped back to Drew’s.
“You’re about to see a side of me you might not like. Grief is one emotion I can’t handle. I’m sorry for the man I’m about to become…”
I shook my head. “Do what you need to in order to get through this. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jedd moved in quietly and crouched to unlock Drew’s wrists.
Once free, his hands fell into his lap like lead weights. He took a moment. Whether that was to let himself feel or to chastise himself some more, I wasn’t sure. The moment didn’t last long. After a long exhale, Drew stood on shaky legs, nodding at Jedd before he turned back to me and held my gaze.
“I love you,” he mouthed.
I gave him that same sad smile.
