Oh boy… here we go...
"You’re supposed to be the expert," Nox snaps, stepping closer. "You’ve got a face full of secrets and a nervous twitch that screams ‘I’ve seen things.’"
The elf puffs up, clutching his ticket like it’s a shield. He is muscular and tall too, not like Nox, but still... They look like twoDobermans, one black, the other white, about to kill each other. "Andyou’resupposed to be the charming rogue! But all I’ve seen is sarcasm, fangs and a complete lack of respect for magical protocol!"
"Oh, I respect magic," Nox says, smiling. "I just hateyou."
The elf gasps like he’d been slapped with a frosty mitten. "You take that back!"
I sigh, "Boys, if you’re done reenacting a cursed holiday special, maybe we can focus on the fact that the conductormeltedand we’re now on a train heading straight into Christmas town."
They both turn to me, slightly chastened. The elf mutters, "I think your bat boy is haunted."
Nox rolls his eyes. "And I think you’re allergic to me."
The train whistles ominously, as if agreeing with both of them. I crouch beside the puddle of slush and coal buttons, staring at the remains of the snowman like I’d just knocked over a sacred holiday relic. The hat lays askew, steaming faintly.
"We can’t justleavehim," I say, looking around.
Nox raises an eyebrow. "You want to scoop up a melted authority figure and carry him around like a seasonal smoothie?"
The elf kneels beside me. "Wehaveto! It’s protocol! If he melts, you collect the remains and return them to the Frost Vault before midnight. If not… he will reform with extra grievances."
I don’t hesitate and grab a plastic bag from my purse. I throw the marshmallows out of the bag, and theysqueak in protest, rolling away. Then, I start to ladle the slush into the bag using a cracked candy cane I found under the seat.
Nox watches, his arms crossed, clearly enjoying himself. "This is the weirdest cleanup I’ve ever seen."
The elf arranges the coal buttons into a neat little pile. "Be gentle! His memory is stored in the carrot. If it bruises, he’ll forget how to jingle."
"Oh, for fuck's sake." I can hear Nox behind me. I carefully place the carrot nose on top of the slush, like a cherry on a very cursed sundae.
"Okay. He’s in. Now what?"
The elf looks around. "Now we keep him cold, keep him quiet anddon’tlet him hear any off-key caroling. That triggers his rage cycle."
Nox crouches beside me, peering into the slushy remains of the snowman. "Oooooh, frosty friend..."
I look at him terrified and with raised eyebrows. "You’re not seriously going to sing to him."
"Oh, I’mabsolutelygoing to sing to him," Nox says, grinning like a mischievous ornament. "He melted onto your ticket. That’s romantic, tragic and weirdly festive. He deserves a send-off."
The elf whimpers from the corner. "Please don’t. If he hears off-key singing…" Nox ignores him. He clears his throat dramatically and launches into a sultry. He sings slightly sinister rendition of a holiday tune that has to be banned from every mall. His voice sounds smooth, smoky and just a little too theatrical.
"Oh, frosty friend, you puddled fast…"
I look at the bag. "Is he… bubbling?"
The elf shrieks. "He’sresponding! Stop singing!"
Nox keeps going, now adding finger snaps and a dramatic wink towards the carrot nose.
"Let me try again…Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…"
The elf stares at the bag in horror. "Do you want to die by sleigh bells?"
The bag burbles ominously.
Nox winks. "Only if they have rhythm."
