Nox leans back in his seat, his arms crossed, smirking like he’d just won a bet with fate. "She’s haunted. I’m cursed. You’re twitchy. It’s a miracle this train hasn’t derailed yet."
The elf leans in, his blue eyes dart up towards the flickering cabin lights. "I should probably warn you," he whispers, his fingers brushing the tickets. "The conductor… he’s a snowman."
"Like a jolly one?" I ask him, my hand reaching for Nox’s knee.
The elf shakes his head slowly, dramatically. "No. He’s…frostbitten with authority."
Nox raises an eyebrow. "What does that even mean?"
"He wears a conductor’s cap stitched from coal dust and disappointment. His whistle sounds like someone screaming into a snowbank. And if your ticket’s not in order, he’ll stare at you until you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done during the holidays."
I lean back, unimpressed. "So, a mean Frosty with a clipboard?"
The elf nods. "Exactly. And heknowsif you’ve been naughty." His eyes land on Nox.
"Oh, we have been..."
Suddenly, the train gives a cheerful jolt, and a shadow passes by the cabin’s window—a shadow with a round silhouette with a carrot nose and glowing coal eyes. A distant whistle echoes through the cabin, followed by the sound of sleigh bells… and judgment.
Nox smirks. "Well, I guess we better behave. Or he might melt."
I look out the window, watching the silhouette of the snowman conductor glide past. "He’s got coal eyes," I let them know. "Like, actual coal. And theyglow. That’s sooo cute."
The elf nods rapidly. "He sees through lies, and poor holiday spirit. And sometimes walls."
Nox tilts his head. "Wow! I won’t survive this shit?"
"I’ll be so sorry for your loss," he tells me with a naughty smile on his face. Before Nox can punch him, the cabin door slides open with a dramaticshhhkand the conductor steps in. He has three perfectly stacked snowballs, a crooked carrot nose, and a conductor’s cap that looks like it survived both a blizzard and a tax audit. His coal eyes glow faintly, and his scarf is red. The elf gives us each our tickets.
The snowman doesn’t speak... he just holds out a mitten'd hand.
The elf fumbles with his own ticket, drops it, picks it back up and offers it with both hands like a peace treaty. For a long, uncomfortable moment, the conductor stares at it. Then he stamps it with a sound like as if sleigh bell being strangled. Nox follows; he’s smirking like he is daring the snowman to blink first.
"I don’t like you." His frosty little voice flows towards Nox.
I hold out my ticket with a steady hand, the parchment warm from my touch and faintly glowing with a shimmer of red and gold. The conductor looms over me, his coal eyes flickering like dying embers, his carrot nose slightly wilted from the train’speppermint steam. He reaches out with a mitten'd hand, slow and deliberate, and brushed the edge of the ticket.
The moment his snowy fingers make contact, the cabin lights flare, the train gives a hiccup and the snowman lets out a sound that is half a sigh, half a fart. His coal eyes widen, then dim. And with a softwhump, he melts straight down into a puddle of slush and coal buttons, his hat landing with a tragic littleplop.
I blink. "Was that supposed to happen?"
The elf gasps. "No! No, no, no! That only happens when someone’s too warm, or cursed, or both!"
Nox leans over, peering at the puddle. "Fuck! My shoes are wet!"
I stare at the glowing ticket still in my hand. "I think I broke Christmas."
"Go find a bucket!" The elf stands up while telling Nox.
"You go." Nox is now suddenly towering in front of the elf.
"Your girlfriend broke him!"
"What’s your name again? It will beDEAD! If you say something about her ever again!"
The tension in the cabin snaps like a brittle candy cane. Nox stands tall, fists clenched; his shadow stretches across the velvet floor. "You knew he was unstable," Nox growls, voice low and sharp. "And youdidn’tthink to mention that touching something warm could turn him into a puddle?"
The elf gasps, his ears twitching like offended antennae. "Excuse me,Mr. Brooding and Mysterious, but I didn’t know she’s infused with emotional nuclear fallout!"
