Guilt didn’t sit well with Kari. Outside the front door, he hesitated, licked his lips, and eyed the key he held up to the lock.
Should I knock?
It felt like a stupid question, yet…
He had put distance between them, wanting to find a way to not push Bowie while also revealing how he felt. As the seconds increased, his stomach upped the ante, and he started salivating unpleasantly. Key in the lock, his hand trembled. Inside, the place was in darkness.
What have you done!
There was no lingering scent of food. Had Bowie eaten with his friends?
Kari’s anxiety went from a solid five to awful ten. He flipped on the switch by the door, flooding the room with light. He checked his watch; it was barely eight pm.
You didn’t bother to message him to let him know where you were, so why would he wait for you to come home?
And you know why I didn’t. Kodi—
He isn’t your priority, Bowie is.
A sinking feeling came when his wolf side was right. He knew he’d fucked up. It didn’t matter that there was a genuine reason for not calling to say why he’d be late. The silence, as Kari strained to hear, suggested there was no one home, but Kari knew differently.
He walked through to their bedroom. The door was ajar, the room also in darkness. Just a slither of light trailing over the carpet from the hallway lit the room as Kari poked his head around the door. There, in the middle of the bed, was a mound. His eyes adjusted to the darkness as he listened.
The mound, unmoving, made no sound. It was too unnatural, meaning Bowie was wide awake.
“Babycakes,” Kari murmured, stepping fully into the room. A whimper, barely there, met his ears and made his heart accelerate.
Kari moved to the side of the bed, sat on the edge and reached to turn on the lamp. Soft, cream light cast a warm glow over the bed. Kari couldn’t even see any part of Bowie, buried as he was under the covers. Placing a hand on the mound, he released a shuddery exhale when Bowie didn’t move away.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call to say I was going to be late. Kodi was… being Kodi” It was all he had when he couldn’t explain what was wrong with Kodi without breaking his confidence.
Another whimper came, this one louder.
“Can you come out from under the covers, so Daddy can see you?”
The covers were flung off at such a rate they hit Kari, but he wasn’t able to react when Bowie launched himself at him. He caught him in the covers and worked to keep from toppling over at the force. Kari’s relief died at Bowie’s sobs.
“You still want to be my daddy?” he wept, his damp face burying in Kari’s neck.
“What… why would you think I wouldn’t want that?” he asked in genuine confusion, holding on to his clingy boy, placing kisses on top of his head, seeking to reassure them both.
“Your… eyes… they changed,” he stammered, between sobs. “They were like… like m-y f-family.”
Oh gods. How could I be so selfish?
Fix it. Fix it now, or I will,his wolf threatened.
“Look at Daddy.” His voice wasn’t quite steady. He didn’t hide any of his feelings as he waited for Bowie to reveal tear-swollen eyes. He had done this, and his heart hurt.
“I’m sorry I upset you by distancing myself these last two days. It wasn’t because I don’t love you, my sweet boy. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings when Silas was getting to show how much he loves Ziggy, and I don’t get to do that with you.”
Did he sound pathetic? Whiny, even? Possibly, but he wasn’t holding back, not when it was vital he make Bowie understand how much he loved him.
Bowie scrubbed at his wet eyes with his fists. Bewilderment came and went, his thumb going between his lips.
The thumping of Kari’s pulse caused a buzzing in his ears, which wasn’t helped by how much his wolf was pushing to shift.
“I should have spoken to you about how I feel. There is no excuse for not being honest. I’ve been so focused on stopping myself from pressurizing you, I lost sight of talking about what was bothering me. I don’t want you to feel I’m forcing you to do something you aren’t ready for. I swear it. I was just blindsided by Silas and Ziggy’s news. It hurt that I couldn’t tell anyone. Act the way I want with you in front of my family, your friends. Do you understand?”Please understand.“I love you and want everyone to know it. I want to be your mate, desperately, as does my wolf.”
