Bowie couldn’t get over how Kari was talking, much like he was discussing the weather and not what he liked… sexually. He gulped at the sudden realization why they were having this conversation. “You want me to be your boy!”
He felt faint with how fast he swung his head from side to side to see several couples staring in their direction at his loudness.
“I’m sorry,” he cowered in his seat, hating the thought he’d done something wrong.
“Look at me,” Kari said, not harshly, but definitely in a tone that suggested Bowie would make him happy if he did as he was told. So he did. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I chose to have this conversation here and not back at your apartment, so please don’t worry you’re in trouble. You aren’t. I’m not ashamed of who I am and what I like.”
“Your parents—”
“They know what I want in my relationships. I haven’t hidden this from them because when I introduce my future husbandto them, I wantthat personnot to worry about having to act differently in front of them.”
Husband? Bowie’s stomach dropped at Kari having a future husband.
“I wanted you to be fully aware of what I’m into before you agree—if that’s what you want—to date me.”
His mouth hung open at talk of husbands, then it segueing into Kari and him dating. What was he supposed to say to that?
“I can see this is a lot for you to take in. But as I wanted full disclosure before you decide whether dating me is something you’d be interested in, I felt you needed to know this side of me.”
Chapter Eighteen
Kari
Kari paced the bedroom, occasionally glancing at the closed door, trying to stop himself going back into the kitchen where he’d left Bowie baking, desperate not to crowd him.
Two days had passed, and Bowie hadn’t mentioned their conversation. Kari couldn’t decide if it was good or bad. What he did know was how wearing it was, and not because he was worried about disclosing what he liked. No, it was all to do with Bowie’s confession of having—how had he put it—‘researched’ the lifestyle, but hadn’t explained why.
Kari’s mind had spiralled into the reasons for this when he recalled Bowie’s trip to a sex club with the other PAs. There was nothing in the information he’d read about Rex to suggest he lived a kink lifestyle. Except Kari understood not everyone took their lifestyle beyond their home, which had him worrying about if Rex had fucked this up for Bowie. Being vulnerable—submissive—to someone took trust, and Rex had obliterated any that Bowie had when he’d hit him.
Was it all connected somehow? Bowie was most definitely submissive. Had he known from the beginning why Kari acted the way he did? What worried Kari was if that was true, had Bowie somehow thought Kari might manipulate him in some way. This left Kari feeling disconcerted when he didn’t have the answer. Every hour that passed while Bowie took time to ‘think’, the feeling increased. Kari wasn’t surprised, not really, when Bowie was a reflector.
Bowie had kept his distance, not obviously so, but Kari respected the need for space and willingly gave it, regardless of how it made him feel. At work, it was easier to cope because that gave him something to think about other than Bowie. But when they returned to Bowie’s apartment, it was difficult to distance himself.
Habits he’d developed were hard to stop when he wanted to take care of Bowie the way he had been doing. Until Bowie decided what he wanted, Kari literally had to sit on his hands to stop himself. Whatever Bowie’s decision was, Kari would respect it.
For now though, Kari worked fucking hard to keep things light between them, no heavy conversations. No pushing.And no acting like a daddy. This was the toughest when Kari had slipped into the role, his heart leading the way. This was why he was hiding out. Pitiful but true, when he had little restraint.
A gentle tap at the door had him whisk around and dart to it far too eagerly. He tried not to get his hopes up as he opened it, finding Bowie on the other side, hopping from foot to foot, his gaze somewhere around Kari’s chest.
“Hey, Baby—you. Is everything okay?”
The blush riding up Bowie’s neck came with him peeking up from under his inky eyelashes. “Would it be alright if… if… we talked now about… what… about you… and me?”
Kari stepped aside, opening the door wider. “Absolutely,” he answered with a calmness he did not feel.
Had Bowie decided he wasn’t interested, was that why the nerves?
Stop doubting what we both know.
We know nothing until Bowie tells us.His wolf always figured he knew best. He didn’t.
Look at him and tell me we aren’t what he wants? I can smell his attraction to us.
Kari had to shut out his wolf to concentrate on the man who seemed to be avoiding looking him in the eye as he walked into the room and then stood, as if undecided what to do next, in the middle of the carpeted floor.
“Why don’t you sit in the chair and tell me what’s on your mind?”
Bowie went to the chair and sank down, looking grateful, making Kari’s stomach jolt unpleasantly.
