He stopped beside her yet she didn’t look up.
He stilled, a prickle of warning tightening the space between his shoulder blades. He reached out a hand to touch her, then paused.
Greer’s stillness was unnatural. He wasn’t a man prone to flights of imagination but he’d swear there was a force field around her, an invisible barrier holding the world at bay.
He hunkered down beside her but her head was tilted forward, her hair curtaining her face. Quickly he sat down beside her, all the while a bad feeling brewing in his gut.
‘Greer.’
This time she heard him. He saw her minute flinch. Instantly his heart tripped and began to race. This wasn’t good. What had happened? It couldn’t be…
She turned her head and fear consumed him. Brutal fear and sorrow for the pain he saw. Her face was red and blotchy as if she’d been crying forever. Her eyes were glassy and twin streams of tears cascaded down her cheeks to drip off her chin, darkening her dress.
Conall felt his chest cave in, cracking under the weight of her distress. He wanted to gather her in and take some of her pain. Lessen her trauma. Heneededto hold her. But when he leaned closer she flinched.
He froze, telling himself she was in shock. Yet a huge chasm opened inside him. A vast, familiar emptiness he’d dared to hope they might conquer.
In an instant that profound feeling of helplessness was back.
‘When were you going to tell me?’
Her voice was a cracked whisper but he heard every tortured syllable. They felt like razor blades, scoring his chest and his throat when he tried to swallow.
She knows. Everything.
It was what he’d feared when he’d seen her so still, so…separate. But he’d told himself it wasn’t possible.
‘That we’re married?’
In his peripheral vision, Conall saw the restless shift of her hands. One glance confirmed it was the nervous habit she’d acquired in recent weeks, rubbing her thumb over her ring finger. The finger that had for such a short time worn his ring. Each slide of her hand on that empty finger eroded something inside him.
‘No. The reason we married. The baby.’
His stomach went into freefall, plunging deep and brutally fast.
He’d thought he’d hit rock bottom before, all his certainties about his inner strength splintering under the weight of trauma. Now he found he still had the capacity for more pain. He sucked in a sharp breath that couldn’t fill his lungs.
His need to comfort her, and comforthimselfby holding her close, was so great he had to wrap his hands around the wood of the dock, rather than touch her when she clearly didn’t want it.
‘I’m sorry, Greer. So sorry.’ Even knowing it wouldn’t solve anything, he felt better, finally being able to say it to her in person. Those unspoken words had been a terrible burden. Never before had he felt so deeply the isolation of his previous life. Or wanted to change it more. ‘I’ve wanted to tell you but couldn’t.’
She shook her head, bruised eyes holding his, and he wished there was some way he could take on her pain as well as his own.
‘Couldn’t or wouldn’t?’
Conall stiffened. The fact that she hadn’t been able to remember the past meant he’d been able to spend time with her, look after her.
Have sex with her. That’s what she’s thinking about, that you took advantage of her.
You made her spell out that she wanted sex with you, telling her all that mattered was what she felt in the moment. As if what happened before wasn’t important.
He wished he could regret his need for her but couldn’t imagine ever not wanting her. He couldn’t wish it hadn’t happened.
‘I consulted the medical staff—’
‘Aboutme! I deserved to know.’
He inclined his head. ‘Yes. But given the trauma you’d suffered, they thought it better you regain your memory naturally.’
