‘You have a problem with that?’
‘Well, what good does it do anyone?’
‘I’m not seeking to do anyone anything.’
‘You’re seeking to punish yourself.’
He stared back at her, unable and unwilling to dispute that.
‘To what end?’
‘I’m sorry?’
She compressed her lips. ‘What does it achieve?’
‘It is less about what it achieves, and more about what I deserve.’
‘Fine. You say Isabella loved you with her whole heart. Do you thinkshewould want this for you?’
He felt a muscle tic in his jaw at the sensible question. It wasn’t the first time it had been said to him. His father-in-law had implored him not to throw his life away in Isabella’s name. But it was what Nikos deserved.
‘Honestly, I think you’re doing her a huge injustice.’
He made a sound of surprise. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘I was in a deeply unhappy marriage. I was young and naïve when I met James, and I let him sweep me up utterly and completely into all that he promised. But it was a terrible mistake. You know what I did?’
Nikos reached for his own wine then, taking a sip, before he replaced it on the table and took a triangle of bread, spreading it generously with taramasalata then putting it on Genevieve’s plate.
‘Eat,’ he said, not even trying to keep the tone of command from his voice.
She glared at him. ‘Do you know what I did?’
He looked pointedly at the bread so with a dramatic huff she lifted it to her mouth and took a bite. And despite the tenor of their conversation, his eyes clung to her mouth, her sweet pink lips, as she chewed and swallowed. He looked away abruptly, barely able to focus on what they’d been discussing.
‘I left him,’ she said, eventually. ‘It was hard, and I had to basically sign my life away to get out, but I did it. Because I realised I couldn’t live the rest of my days like that. So unless there was something you were holding over Isabella’s head, making it impossible for her to leave, unless you were making promises you had no intention of keeping, then I think you can safely assume she stayed because no matter what, she wanted to. Because she loved you.’
‘Yes, she loved me,’ he spat. ‘But I made her miserable. Loving me ruined her life.Ishould have lefther.’
‘You don’t think that would have ruined her life, too?’
‘Then I should never have married her.’
‘Perhaps, but you did. I can only presume you loved her, as well.’
He stopped then, dropping his gaze to his plate as he thought of Isabella as she’d been then. When they’d both been young and carefree. ‘Yes,’ he said, simply. ‘I loved her, but not how she loved me. Not enough. I did want to make her happy. It just turned out that there were other things I wanted more.’
Genevieve’s sympathetic expression had his gut turning.
‘Please, don’t pity me.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t want it, least of all from you.’
‘I feel like there’s an insult in there.’
‘I don’t deserve it from you.’
