Should she be glad, for Dan’s sake, that Xander knew about him, with Dan so clearly thrilled by having his father in his life? Surely she could not now wish it otherwise. And if she and Xander kept to what they’d agreed last night, to hide their enmity to each other from Dan, to mute and silence it, to behave better in front of Dan, better, even, towards each other, however strained that was, surely she could not wish that otherwise either?
She reached for a macaroon, the last one, and nibbled it absently, thoughts drifting around. There were far fewer people in the drawing room now, and it was quiet, voices only a murmur at the far end, logs crackling in the hearth. Her mood was strange. She could not make sense of it.
It was better, yes, that Xander and she sheathe their vicious anger at each other, for Dan’s sake, but with that anger set aside…
It’s allowing other things in.
Things that were dangerous to allow.
Seeing Xander at the pool stripped down to swim-shorts had opened dangerous floodgates. Seeing his reaction to her in the swimsuit he remembered. Trailing his forefinger along her bare skin. Bringing back so, so many memories…
Memories that should have withered and died…
It was seven years ago!she thought desperately.Surely to God I’ve moved on since then? How can he still have such an effect on me?
Yet he did, and she could not deny it. Fully clothed or stripped down, Xander still had the ability to make her eyes go to him, cling to him.
She felt her breath tighten. She mustn’t allow this, she just mustn’t. It was far, far too dangerous. Far too shameful.
That even after the hideous way it ended in Greece, even what he threw at me so vilely last night, that after all that, he can still make my heart beat faster, a flush of heat go through me.
Setting down her empty cup, she got to her feet. She had better go and join Dan and his father out in the hotel gardens. Better, surely, than remaining here, staring into the fire and brooding on her own shameful susceptibility to Xander Xenakis, to whom she was nothing but a thief, a liar and the woman who had deliberately kept his son from him.
Never to be exonerated for any of those crimes.
Chapter Six
“I’M GOING TOhave to get back to Athens in a couple of days.”
Xander made his announcement to Laurel the next day. He’d arrived to take them all out to lunch—the pizza parlour in the market town this time—and now they were visiting a nearby farm park that he thought Dan would enjoy. The website promised tractors, a huge hay barn and any number of farm animals from donkeys to chickens. Currently, bottle-feeding newborn lambs was the big attraction, and Xander and Laurel were standing a little way off from where Dan was clustered with other children and two members of staff, watching the feeding and having a go as well.
“How long for?” Laurel asked.
“About a week. I have some business matters that need attending to, which can’t be done remotely, as I’ve been doing from the hotel in the mornings before I arrive. I’m having a car for you to drive delivered before I leave so that you can get about. Also—” he picked his words carefully “—why don’t you use the time to visit the school I think Dan would like to go to? See what you both make of it. The headmaster, who understands the position—that you are only just moving to the area—assured me you could visit during the holidays. It might be a good opportunity.” He paused. “It’s a good school, Laurel. Dan would thrive there, I’m sure.”
“Yes, I’m sure he would, but…”
“But?”
“If he sees round the school, and likes it, then, well, I’m committed. Committed to his going there, committed to living here.”
He looked at her. “Would that be such an ordeal?” he asked. He strove not to make his question sound sarcastic.
She looked at him. “It’s a big thing, uprooting my life—Dan’s life. There’d be no going back.” She took a breath. “Xander, we agreed we needed time—both of us.”
“The trouble is, when it comes to school, time is finite. The summer term will start soon after Easter.” He tried not to sound short.
“I know,” she said heavily. “And I know the school is holding a place for him. But, look, one possibility is that we compromise. If you really are willing to pay the extortionate rental on the cottage here—”
“For my son, of course I am!” Xander said tersely. He was exerting himself to patience, but her hesitation was frustrating. He was not used to not getting his way.
“—then I could home-school Dan for the summer term, while the school reserved a place for autumn to keep that option open. That would give plenty of time to come to terms with, well, what’s happening to us because of you.”
Xander was silent a moment as they both watched the lambs avidly guzzling on their bottles, the children around them asking questions, Dan gazing transfixed.
“Do you really want to go back to living in London, keeping Dan in his current school—limited resources, large classes, no playing fields? And living in that cramped house with barely a garden?” Xander kept his tone resolutely temperate, but again it took effort. Could she really prefer that for their son?
“I don’t know,” she said. “That house has been my home all my life.”
